Real Talk with Tina and Ann
Tina and Ann met as journalists covering a capital murder trial, 15 years ago. Tina has been a tv and radio personality and has three children. Ann has a master's in counseling and has worked in the jail system, was a director of a battered woman's shelter/rape crisis center, worked as an assistant director at a school for children with autism, worked with abused kids and is currently raising her three children who have autism. She also is autistic and was told would not graduate high school, but as you can see, she has accomplished so much more. The duo share their stories of overcoming and interview people who are making it, despite what has happened. This is more than just two moms sharing their lives. This is two women who have overcome some of life's hardest obstacles. Join us every Wednesday as we go through life's journey together. There is purpose in the pain and hope in the journey.
Real Talk with Tina and Ann
WTFudge 2025
Mental health is vital, especially amid the chaos of current events. This episode weaves personal stories with insights on finding balance, kindness, and the importance of prioritizing peace at home over the noise outside.
• The impact of the news on mental health
• Humor and light-heartedness in navigating tough narratives
• Personal anecdotes showcasing the importance of family and memories
• The essential feeling of safety at home amidst chaos
• Emphasizing kindness and empathy over division
• Tips for finding balance in everyday life
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne. I am Tina.
Speaker 2:And I am Anne. I was just telling you, tina, how much I love when it's just us. I mean, it just warms my heart. I am so glad that we are taping here today. You know we were going to start this podcast differently, but there is so much going on in the world right now. You know, I thought a little humor would help, but I just don't know if it would. I have spent way too much time with my eyes on the news right now and I've reached the point of what's more important my mental health or being informed? And I think right now it's my mental health.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's the route we should all take. I think it's so worth protecting our peace, and I'm going to talk about that a lot during this podcast, and I'm going to add a little humor, because I feel like I've been waiting forever to say this. It's January 75th, or it's like the 75th day of the month. Oh my gosh, it feels like this month is never ending. Ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 2:It really does feel that way. I can't believe that just a month ago, in a few days, was Christmas. I mean, it seriously does feel like this month has gone on forever. I mean it's the very last end of the month. By the time people hear this, it's going to be February, but you know, don't worry, there'll be a lot more happen by the time, right, right.
Speaker 2:I think that so many people, whenever they are able to catch the podcast and be like oh yeah, I remember January was a one, but there's just so much going on and it's just so scary out there, I feel safer at home. You know, I'm not gonna lie. I'm this person where I'm a FOMO person. If it's going on, I want to be there, but I don't feel that way right now. I'm good, I'm like nope, have fun. That's how I feel.
Speaker 2:I made myself go to an arcade and out to eat and enjoy this past weekend and I still felt that fear and it felt like a PTSD thing was going on with me. I don't feel myself, I feel off. I mean, this is an example of 2025 and how it started for me. We started it with the norovirus and my kids. It was coming out both ends. You know, it was really my one son. I mean, he sleeps with me a lot still and he was puking all over my bed and that's how 2025 started for me. We had family coming over the next day. I had to cancel and tell them, sorry, we can't do it.
Speaker 2:We got some sickness going on over here and I had the best pie made ever. I'm not kidding you, it was the best and it was so good. I mean, we ended up eating it and the best and it was so good. I mean we ended up eating it. It was this peanut butter cream pie. That was just so delicious and you know I was going to give it to them because I just love them so much. I want them to be so impressed over this pie. And then here you know it, just I couldn't serve it to them. So we ate it. It was great. I gave it to some friends. They loved it One of the recipe, that's how good it was.
Speaker 2:And then, two weeks later, we're going to do this again. So they come, I made the same pie. I'm all about it. This is the best pie ever. You're going to absolutely love this thing. And it ended up being the worst pie ever. I didn't taste it first because I was so confident that this was going to be a great pie and I said this is the best pie here. Go ahead and have it. And I think they were both going to puke. And then my cousin says well, at least we didn't get sick. You know, it's like, oh my gosh, I just felt so embarrassed because the consistency of the entire pie was off because one of the ingredients got frozen, which I didn't know that would happen to the pie because it was frozen. But that's what happened.
Speaker 1:Oh, because. I've done that too, with certain meals I'm like, oh, it's a slam dunk, not even going to try it. And then it's like, oh my gosh, I forgot to add one of the main ingredients. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:It was so bad. The funny part of it is was that I really hyped this thing up. I mean I served it and literally said to them this is the best pie you will ever eat. And they both went them this is the best pie you will ever eat. And they both went oh, oh my gosh. And they didn't say anything and they just said no, you know, we're kind of full. And I was just like, okay, you know, they were just nice about it.
Speaker 1:And then when I went and took a bite, yeah, you were like I didn't know you could freeze cream cheese. Is that true?
Speaker 2:Well, apparently not. Don't do it. That's just one example. I mean, it was crazy.
Speaker 1:Well, you are the one who told me because I had a crazy start to the year as well, that it started with WTF Wednesday, thursday, friday, of course, is what we mean? That's what we mean, yeah. Or what in the world?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know the censored version of it.
Speaker 1:But oh gosh, let me tell you I can totally relate to thinking you've got it in the bag and then you don't.
Speaker 2:You know, you know and I also had an experience, tina, that which you know me. I'm like this manifester. I believe in something and it's going to happen. I'm that confident and we had had a really rough time. My cat had passed away. We said, you know, I'm just going to get in the car, we're going to drive to New York. And I said, well, let's just go see Hoda for the last time and go see the show. And it was kind of fun. We went to the top of the Empire State Building, we did all these really amazing things.
Speaker 2:But when we did go to the Today Show, my kids have made this kind of connection with her and it's kind of fun. She acts like she recognizes them. I don't know if she does or not, but she acts like it, you know, out of all the millions of people that she sees. And she says, yeah, I remember you, and they were all hugging and everything. And we've talked a few times. And she said you know, I do want to connect with her. And she turns to her producer who ends up sitting. He's standing right there and she says I want to connect with her and he says, oh, okay, so he gives me his email and we went back and forth a few times and you know it was really crazy. We had Thanksgiving and Christmas and they had the tree lighting that they had to get ready for, and they had her party, her big celebration for leaving in January.
Speaker 2:So all this was going on and I didn't really hear back. You know, we went back and forth a couple of times and he said he was going to do it, but I just wasn't sure because I'm not great at, you know, letting go of the baton and trusting that person that's going to do the last leg of the race, right, right. So you know I checked on it every now and then, but he would write back yeah, I will, whatever. And he finally wrote me and said I'm giving it to her. So I was just like, yay.
Speaker 2:And then right after that, I got this phone call two phone calls that were private numbers, which I never, ever get a phone call from a private number that I was teaching my son during homeschooling and I always have my phone on, do not disturb and I'm like, looking at this phone, convinced that it was her. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't her, but you know I'm still the story isn't over, but that's how it feels to me Like I just keep missing things, like I'm just off, everything just feels off, like my normal manifestation self would have made it happen and I would have answered the phone and we would have had a conversation, but I'm not on.
Speaker 1:And you know what that was her. But because you're just not in the right mental state right now, which is obviously temporary, that it wasn't the time, but it doesn't mean that you won't connect again. I think you said something important that your mental health comes first. You know you said that just a few minutes ago. For whatever reason, you know you are focusing on the right thing. You were focusing on giving your son the schooling that he needs that day.
Speaker 2:So I mean I don't think everything works. Yeah, yeah, well, maybe, maybe when it is the right time and she does have a saying you know, right on time, so maybe there is the right time for that. Absolutely, you've really had a rough time. I mean your year. You have to tell the story of how your year started. Absolutely, you've really had a rough time. I mean you have to tell this story of how your year started.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, let me just backtrack it a moment. Last New Year's I'm beginning to not like New Year's Last New Year's I was in the hospital with pneumonia, first time I ever had pneumonia. I was like awesome, welcome to being 40. And I was hospitalized with pneumonia First time I ever had pneumonia. I was like awesome, welcome to being 40. And I was hospitalized with pneumonia and it was horrible. I really thought I was dying.
Speaker 1:So I really tried not to think about anything this New Year's and we decided that we just wanted to get away, our family just wanted to get away, and we were going to do this fun road trip. I had been collecting we may have even talked about it on the show before, but I had been collecting items to be able to sleep in our van, to go camping, you know, just like inflatable air mattresses and this organizer for the top of our van, not like the outside top but the inside ceiling of our van. And so I'd spent, you know, a couple months, just you know little things, nothing like super pricey, but a couple hundred bucks just getting some things in order and, you know, measuring and all this stuff. So we drive down to Florida and we have a really fun, a really great time, and it was such an adventure. Camping, sleeping in the van. The first night was probably the best night because we were at a campground, so we were able to put up a little tent outside and put all of our junk from the van in there so that we could lay the seats in that and we could lay in the back, and then we had an inflatable across the front seats for my oldest son, and so that is what we did, and it worked out beautifully. My oldest son, and so that is what we did, and it worked out beautifully.
Speaker 1:Well, the drive home was quite different. We were driving home and the weather really did start to turn. It was 38 degrees in northern Florida Isn't that crazy, 38 degrees? And so we are 1000 miles away from home on the highway when our van starts violently shaking. And I mean, you know, yes, when you get that sinking pit in your stomach like, yeah, heart goes from where it's supposed to be down to the bottom, and that is what it was like, that is what it was like on our trip. So instantly I knew oh boy, you know there's something wrong. Obviously, I don't know what it is, but we were stuck in a traffic jam, and all I could think of was getting stuck in the middle of a highway so far away from home and not being able to do anything about it. So my heart sunk because of the noise and the way that our van was acting, and then also because I was afraid that we were not going to be able to get off of the highway, and that is not the place I want to be stuck.
Speaker 2:No, no, oh, that's a big fear, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So my anxiety is now at an all-time high and I got really really quiet. But my middle son was really really nervous and he and I just had some moments of crying together because we didn't know what was going to happen. We ended up getting off the highway, making it to a parking lot, and we were able to stop somewhere and eat. That was, you know, our. The parking lot was right next door. So I called for a tow truck with AAA and this happened about 6.30 at night and they were like we can come and get you. You know, we could come in and start taking care of this at 8.30 in the morning and I was like, okay, all right. Actually he said between 8.30 and 10.30. And I was like, okay, so we're just going to be sleeping overnight in the van.
Speaker 1:But it was really cold because we didn't know if we could turn the van on to have the heat going. Is the engine going to blow up? I don't know what's wrong with the van. So everyone slept good, except for my husband and I. You know the kids were nice and toasty, warm. They slept great. And the next morning, can I?
Speaker 2:ask you a question. Yeah, anything around you. Were there stores, were there bathrooms, what was around you? Anything.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know if I told you this, we brought a bucket toilet. Oh, I did know about the bucket toilet, yeah and it came handy. Okay so there wasn't really anything that you could go.
Speaker 1:There were restaurants around us. Yeah, there were restaurants around us and, to be truthful, there was a hotel around us. But we were like, nah, if the van really needed some serious work, we wanted to save. You know, it's like $200 a night. So we're like, all right, we'll just, you know, we'll just camp out here and we'll save that money in case we have to stay, you know, through the weekend. So this is on a, this is on a Friday also. No, no, no, I'm sorry, this was on a Thursday and we were going to be taking our van on a Friday. And then, you know, some places aren't open on the weekend.
Speaker 1:So we're like the next morning, AAA gave us a place that we should have our vehicle towed to. So I call that place. They give me a local AAA number. Tow truck driver comes and picks us up. Well, he tells us that the original place we wanted to take our van to is fully booked and he's like how about? You know there's a more like a mom and pop shop down the street. It's like a mile and a half away. Or would you be okay if we took them? You know, we took you there and they're like they're really good. They're really good, family owned business. They, you know, they love Jesus. He's talking about all this stuff, and so I am just so anxiety, seriously, I'm so anxiety filled. I'm like, okay, well, we just have to get our van seen. I believe the best in people, so I'm not thinking anything at the moment. Okay, you know, we're cold, we're hungry, we're just kind of gross, okay.
Speaker 1:So we take our van to this place and they plug the little machine in and it spits out some codes. They say they tell me that, or they tell us that these codes mean that we need a new engine and a transmission. And I'm like what? I just start sobbing because I don't know these people. They're telling me between $10,000 and $11,000. Our van is a 2016. It has 103,000 miles on it. So we just missed our warranty for the record by about 3,000 miles, which would have been the month prior.
Speaker 1:And so we're in this predicament, waiting for them to tell us this or give a price for this, and we end up, you know, about an hour and a half into waiting there, I get a call from the original place I was supposed to take the van to, and this is when I first noticed something's off and they said you know, are you still coming? And I said well, no, I'm in a different place. Our tow driver said that on the way to get us he called you and you were fully booked. She said we've been waiting for you and nobody called. Oh no. So now my anxiety amped up on a different level where I didn't feel safe. I felt I'm being taken advantage of.
Speaker 1:So I tell you know, I tell this place that we're at, we need a little bit of time to figure some things out. So we made a call to a friend back home who was trying to steer us in a good direction and begging this place to check something simple. The place was not wanting to do that. Then they said they did that and they didn't because I'll tell you why in a minute. So we tell them we don't what we're going to do. So they ask if we have the title to our van. Luckily we did not have the title to our van with us, because we probably would have made a very poor decision by giving it to them. There you go, yeah. So they say well, when you get back home, figure out what you want to do and you can mail the title down to us and we will sell it for you across the street to CarMax, for you know, maybe you'll get $500 to $1,000. And I'm just crushed because we're just not in a place to want or get rid of it or be able to afford a new vehicle.
Speaker 1:So we get back home and our really close friend who we were in Florida with on this trip, says this just doesn't sit right with me and he owns a car dealership and a car repair shop. So he says listen, I'm going to ship the van up for you. Of course we paid for it, but he did all the negotiations and arrangements and everything. So he lets me know that it's all set and ready. He lets me know that it's all set and ready.
Speaker 1:So the person gets there to pick up our van and the shop says they have no such van there. So they lie to him and tell him they don't have our van. Eventually he gets the van, he brings it back home. The repair shop back home can tell that these people did nothing to it. Not only that, but the van is not spitting out any of these codes that he said. So we don't know if he was lying about the codes. We knew something was wrong with the van, yes, or if he cleared the codes because our friend thinks that they were going to make the repairs and sell it and make like $8,000 off of our van and lie to us and say it needed these major, major repairs and it's just a wash.
Speaker 1:So, we did have to put about $2,200 into our van, but it's running beautifully. It's a lot different, a lot different. The engine was not leaking or broken. It needed a tune-up. Okay, so it needed all new plugs and it needed all new coils, and after that it has been good to go. The transmission has been fine.
Speaker 2:I can't believe they would do that, that they would take advantage of a family towards their vacation in another state.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. It sickens me. I sat there and sobbed and my children sat in that room for five hours and they were just blowing smoke, and so I have a glowing review for them Once I get my money back. I'm fighting the charges because they didn't do anything. They said they did on paper, but our at-home repair shop can prove they didn't, and so not that we were going to have them put $10,000 into it.
Speaker 1:We just wanted them to try a couple simple things and so once I get word on if that is a go, then I will be putting that glowing review up. What's interesting is, once I got there, once I got that call an hour and a half in, I started to look them up online and on their website. The reviews seemed fine. But once I found them on Facebook, once I'm back home now, I've seen several reviews saying the same thing that I'm saying, and so I'm thinking that maybe they do take care of their local customers, but it seems as though that they take advantage of tourists. So that just feeling like I'm being scammed, that really bothered me. And you know people who play oh, but they're a great Jesus loving family. It was like gosh you know you don't want that to be a red flag, but maybe that needs to be a red flag Like what tow truck driver comes to and says that Just all these things looking back, and you know.
Speaker 1:Then we got back home and we had the stomach bug hit three times. Three different times, same kid, three different times. First time it went through everybody. Second time, just him. Third time, just him. Oh my gosh, to the point where we still haven't done Christmas exchange yet to this day with two different families. You know that we usually do. And then, about a week ago, I'm trying to do some little repair project in the garage and I forgot that I had because I'm interrupted by children. I forgot that I set a drill my you know the heavy drill on top of the ladder and I went to move the ladder. Well, the drill fell, hit me in the chest with the drill bit. First. I have a small hole in my chest of the drill bit and it is so, so sore. I'm going to be so bruised. I'm probably bruised inside. Couldn't even sleep that night. It hurts so bad. I mean, is it 2026 yet?
Speaker 2:I mean right. You know when we did talk-.
Speaker 1:So much cramped into an entire month, you know, and it's only one month.
Speaker 2:And everywhere you look, it's like that. I mean it's just unreal. But you did say well, we talked before you went on this trip and during the trip, and we kept saying you know how memorable this trip was going to be. Well, it ended up being a really memorable trip for you.
Speaker 1:It sure did, I'm telling you. It's one that we won't forget. I mean, my middle son and I are so much alike in terms of. It's not that we're materialistic at all, it's that we hold on to memories from things. And so this was the only vehicle that we had ever driven, and we got this when he was born so that it could accommodate all of us instead of a car. And it's the only vehicle that our pets had ever been in. And there were still nose prints on the windows and we sobbed. And when we got our van back, when our friends fixed it, my middle son said Mommy, we've got our memories back. When he saw it in the garage, it was the sweetest thing, and I tried to explain that, even if it really was gone for good, our memories don't disappear with it. We get to keep them. But it was really sweet that he said that.
Speaker 2:That is really sweet, and that's not all that you have been going through this year.
Speaker 1:No, it is not. You know something. It was kind of funny right before we went on, I got a call from there's a family member of mine who's in jail, and deservedly so. It just is hard, for you know, just hard, when something like that happens. It's not for something super major, but nonetheless still a decision, bad decisions that were made, and not only that, you know, it's kind of the thing that just it hits my heart anytime I think about and talk about it, which is often but my mom on certain days, and it's just a lot. And I nearly, you know, I wanted to help my dad out and I wanted to try to give my mom a bath last week. Never, ever again.
Speaker 1:It was the most horrific experience ever. I thought we were both going to die because, you know, when people get in this late stage of the Alzheimer's disease, I mean they can help with absolutely nothing. So my mom is still very, very strong, even though she looks to be skin and bones, and so it's like dead weight plus stiff weight, if that makes sense, and it's just, it's really, really hard. So you know, honestly, if you want the truth, my prayer for the start of this year has been Lord, please take my mom home. Please, you know, end the suffering here. And I, you know, sooner than later, it's so, so hard, and I was talking about sooner than later. It's so, so hard, and I was talking about this with my counselor, and you know this is what she said, that she's praying the same Unless there's something special that our family can only get through. With mom staying here, our hope and prayer is that God takes her home soon.
Speaker 1:This isn't living. You know. It breaks my heart either way, whether she's here or whether she's gone. But it's so unfair, it's so exhausting, it's so sad. She is not a burden, but this disease is. There's no financial help, there's just nothing you can do. There's not like, oh okay, well, I can give this pill to her and she's going to be okay for four hours. We'll have mom for four hours. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing, nothing you can do, but let it break your heart as you watch and just love her through it.
Speaker 1:So the only good thing about this is it is truly the sweetest thing that I wish everybody in the world truly could see. My four-year-old son has been such a bright light in all of this. The way that he loves my mom is truly, truly special the way he cares for her. He'll just climb up in bed with her and snuggle. He'll make sure she has a blanket, that he turns the lights on, that he's holding her hand. He tells her little secrets and whispers them in her ear. And then he's like why doesn't she say anything? You know that's the only.
Speaker 2:Thing.
Speaker 1:Boy would she love him so much. They would be so ornery together. If only we could turn back the hands of time. So it's really been a brutal last couple of months for me, just in watching my mom's decline and knowing that it's just going to get worse. It's like when you just when you think it can't, it does or it will you know, it's truly, it's horrible. I don't, I don't wish it on anybody, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. There's just so Sorry that you're going through all of this. There's just so much pain in the world right now and I'm petrified for our country too. You know our future right now. Our show is not political. We don't go there intentionally, but I will say this there's just so much division and dissension that it is. You know, it's really affecting, I think, everybody, and you can't even go outside without being afraid anymore, and I can't remember ever feeling like this, except for maybe 9-11. And it was a different kind of fear, but it was fear nonetheless. And this is the same kind. I'm feeling a fear.
Speaker 1:I feel, and maybe feeling unsettled is fear. I guess I don't know, but I feel such a sense of unsettled personally, globally, if you will, or I should say within the States. That's kind of the vibe that I am getting and it can be really scary sometimes and I shelter my kids from as much as I can, for as long as I can, because there are just some things that they don't need to know. But for me personally and this is what we instill in our boys we love people all across the board races, genders, you name it there is just so much uneasiness out there, like I've been saying, that it's hard to avoid and ignore, because I don't watch mainstream media and news at all because I don't want to do that to my mental health. But at the same time I know that certain things going on lately affect people that I love and care about dearly.
Speaker 1:We have always tried to just keep things as normal for our kids as possible, even going back to the pandemic Sure, too Same. I truly believe that our peace is worth protecting. The older I get, the longer I live. It really truly is. And shutting out the world is okay sometimes, I mean sometimes. That's why a lot of the times when I go on a trip or something or I feel like I just need to get away, it's because I need to shut everything out. Either everything's just too loud or too busy too much, and it's just time to get away and block it out.
Speaker 1:I know that there are a lot of us who are doing really hard and hopeful work in terms of healing, and I also think, though, there are far too many people who are not healed, and I think that that's what leads people to destroying their lives and others' lives, because they're either living in the past, or they're living in fear, or they're living in anger, and I read a quote the other day that it didn't have any attribution to it, so these are not my words, but I think that everyone should live by this, and it said that the next time you see someone enjoying something that isn't hurting anyone that's not your cup of tea Instead of saying something negative, train yourself to think to yourself I'm glad they're happy, and carry on with your life.
Speaker 1:Wouldn't it be so much easier, better, less toxic, less uneasy, less fearful if we did that. Why can't we do that? Why can't we all do that? That is how I try to live my life is exactly that. I will tell my kids, just because someone else is doing it doesn't make it right. Or I will tell them we're all different so we may not agree with it, but we can still love someone without understanding, or we can still be kind without understanding.
Speaker 2:I have so many friends from every walk of life. I love that. I love to introduce so many different cultures and everything to my kids. You know, I'm doing a social studies thing with my son because I'm homeschooling him and we're doing this thing where we do a passport and we travel all over the world and it is really fun and we've been making the meals that we learn from each of the countries and he just loves every single one. He just says, oh, I want to go there, I want to visit there, and that's what I want my kids to just be welcoming to everybody and I just kindness, right now is gone, it just is gone. One thing that someone wise told me recently is how, when there is so much division and so much fear and anger that we need to go in with information and empowerment and this is so wise because we are often led with so much misinformation that's where relationships can be divided and countries fail. Honestly, we cannot bring people together with so much fear and anger. We just can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a tough one and I've been reading recently about just trends in public relations and just things like that.
Speaker 1:What is the number one trend or hurdle, I would say that PR people are facing? And the number one hurdle it was talking about is all of the misinformation that is out there and how frustrating people are getting by the misinformation, and so I think it just speaks to what you were talking about. There's again, and it goes back to how I feel, I think there are so many unhealed people that it's causing such unease and just this turmoil right now that hopefully hopefully it's just a temporary thing right now, just because we've just switched presidents recently, and hopefully things can start to flatten out and become a little more peaceful. But I don't pretend to have all the answers. I just agree that there's definitely something that so many are feeling and I really hope that we can come to a place where we can agree to disagree and we can still be friends or we can still be kind and we can still move forward, because that is so, so, so important.
Speaker 2:I just I pray for that. I just don't know. You know it comes down to safety. I think we can't move forward in anything. I don't know if you had to take the psychology class, but you know basic one-on-one psychology, where you take, where you learn about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and it's like this five-tiered system pyramid. It is basically physiological safety, love, belonging, esteem and self-actualization and this is basically saying that if we don't have food, water and safety, we can't move on up the pyramid. We just can't. Right now I think and know that I am stuck on safety and surviving it and I don't like this feeling. I lived like this back in the day, you know, back when I was making a lot of really bad decisions and lived in my trauma a lot. And right now that's what I'm kind of feeling and that I think our country is kind of feeling that right now too.
Speaker 1:And I would think that would be fair, even though I hate that. It's the feeling that a lot of us have. You know, you mentioned safety, and I'm sure that that's why you feel like you want to just be at home more lately. I'm feeling that way too. I've really spent the entire month of January not wanting to do anything.
Speaker 2:You probably don't want to take your van anywhere, huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, honestly, yeah, I'm like I really hope it's safe to drive. I really wish I could have gotten a new one, because I don't know why that sort of thing like taints the way. I think you know there's something wrong with it. So now there's just going to forever be something wrong with it. So I'm trying to work through that.
Speaker 1:But the other thing is, I just have felt such a strong safety net at home and honestly I think my kids have too, because there have been opportunities that my oldest son in particular has had to go places with friends and their parents. He's not wanted to do it, so much so that the one friend thought that did I do something to you? And he said, no, I just want to be at home. And so I'm just now, actually, as we're talking this out, putting that together because I was like, seriously, why don't you want to go? I really don't understand, but it was probably something he couldn't articulate because he didn't understand it himself.
Speaker 1:He just knows that home is where you feel safe and you know what? I'm not so mad at that, because this should be the place where they feel safest, and it is where I feel safest too. I've been making myself go out in the month of January and it's like sometimes I don't even know why, because if this is really just where I want to be right now, then I should just let myself be. I'm not trying to become a hermit. It's just a period of time or a point in time that this is where I feel most comfortable. And, again, my peace is worth protecting, and so is yours.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I don't know why we fight, trying to feel like we want to be home. I don't see anything wrong with that, I guess. Why do I feel like there's something wrong with that?
Speaker 1:That's a really good question. I think for you it's because you are always on the go, go, go, go go. I feel like you are more where I'm the opposite. I really do like being at home a lot Not that you don't like being at home. But you just went up and you went to New York and I mean, yes, I went to Florida, but that was really more of a semi-planned thing, just kind of talked about, I don't know. I feel like you're so much more able to go out and just push through or do all these things and I'm much more like nah, I'd rather be home, you know, you know well, I want to be where peace is, and right now I don't feel much peace out there and when I normally travel You're safe at home.
Speaker 1:So I think the peace and the safety are going hand in hand, and that's why you're picking home.
Speaker 2:Well, when we were in New York, you know it was scary, I actually. There were protests that were going around and things like that right in the heart of Times Square. And I'm not against protesting, but when you're with your kids and everything is escalated around you and there were so many people there, I mean I was really afraid there. I mean I was really afraid. So we would have normally been out walking around and sitting and enjoying Times Square and everything, but we went back to the hotel much earlier than we normally did when there is uncertainty, there's fear, you know, and that's how I felt, and I think that that's kind of what we're feeling.
Speaker 2:There's so much uncertainty going on in the world right now, and I've seen it even with my kids. They've been more aggressive and acting out more often. It's trying to figure out a way to manage living in a world where there is fear, anxiety and struggle everywhere.
Speaker 1:And we are going to have that here, I know Well. I think you hit the nail on the head, because that's exactly how I felt with our car situation in Florida. All do not know these people, trust these people. I am so far from home and I think you've hit the nail on the head, and so for me, I would say what we did was we came back to a place of safety, a place that felt comfortable, home. Then we were able to clear our minds and figure out a good plan by someone that we trust. So that's how we were able to move forward, and I feel like that's how it will have to go for some of the things that we've been talking about here today Getting that trust back, fighting through the fear and anxiety, getting that, getting that trust back some way somehow so that you can move forward in peace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for me and it's coming back to center is trying to find center again, trying to find that balance, walking away from the news, walking towards peace. But for me, right now, it's about balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, balance is a good thing, because when we feel balanced, I think that adds to feeling safe. It adds to our peace. So when we feel like we're out of balance, it's so important that we figure out where is it coming from and what can we do to get ourselves more aligned again. Coming from and what can we do to get ourselves more aligned again. So for me, for example, I know that I need to start doing more exercising again.
Speaker 1:I did really well in November and fell off track in December and January, but starting to pick it back up again, just making myself go outside. It helped that I had our neighbor's daughter's dog for a couple of days and that I had to take him for a walk and I really loved all of that. But one of the things I don't take out of my routine is my restorative yoga, because that piece filled one hour every week is so good for me. My body benefits from that in ways that I never would have thought possible. So I think it's important that you know, if you're feeling that way, that you find something to help you get back to that center.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I surround myself with positivity. I really try, and it is looking, seeking that positivity. Getting back to innocence, I think that that's really important. You know, I'll just turn on Disney shows and some old half hour stuff. You know I love Lucy and things like that and we also we love Mr Bean. He's hilarious. We'll just turn him on just to get a big family collective laugh, you know. But I mean, I think that that's just so important right now I'll just sit and just want to laugh and find that innocence again.
Speaker 1:Well, laughter is an instant vacation. I made a ceramic bowl that has that quote in the bottom of it. I love that quote. Yes, laughter is an instant vacation. So it makes perfect sense to me why you need that and I need that too, and I know you get it with your kids and I get the laughter with mine as well. But I'll say, going back to those shows that you watch, probably either from your childhood or that are just familiar, again, that comfort it's all about. Well, what makes you feel like home? It's like what is that grilled cheese and tomato soup in your life? That's what you need. That's what you need to find.
Speaker 2:You know, it's because I was watching the news and I was just finding myself watching the LA fires and the politics and everything that's going on, and now the plane and everything, and it's knowing when to walk away and turn that Disney show on or just find another kind of fun thing to do that isn't so consuming in a negative way, and I don't know why I keep watching it when my body is telling me you know, it's not good for you anymore, you need to walk away. So I just want to go grab a cup of coffee and have some peace and I just want to breathe it in and cultivate optimism.
Speaker 1:It's hard, though, because you have such a big caring heart that you're watching that and you're glued to it. It's the same reason that people watch, and myself included. If you watch the shows on serial killers and things like that, of course everything in me is like I don't want to know, I don't want to watch any of this. But yet you're so intrigued, either because of well, you don't understand in the case of what I was just talking about or when you're watching, it's because your heart hurts so bad for those people and you're like I just can't imagine. And I can't either.
Speaker 1:I can't imagine losing my home and everything in it. It's not the things, it's the memories. It would be like all my photo albums. I would totally miss that. So awful and happening to these people that are to most of us strangers, and I don't mean that in any mean way. I just mean that, if your body's screaming at you and there's nothing you can do, you could say a prayer for them, and then you know that you can be filled with gratitude for everything that you have and kind of take a break from that, because sometimes that heavy stuff really, really weighs on you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. Our society in general has gotten so far off the path. Do you think that we will ever be able to have a respectful conversation with people who disagree?
Speaker 1:Well, oh boy, that is such a heavy question. I want to say I am capable of it, but I don't think many people are. I feel like as soon as you disagree with someone, people automatically think you hate them, and that is not the case. So I think that that's something that people need to get over. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean I hate you. I simply don't agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would be great to be able to be around people and all have differing opinions. I mean, I remember being able to be like that, you know, but not now. So how can we strengthen connections in such divided times? I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I have an answer to that either. I guess I would say I truly think it could start with the quote that we talked about earlier, and I'm going to jump up here and get back to it, because I think it's that important the next time you see someone enjoying something that isn't hurting anyone and that's not your cup of tea, instead of saying something negative, train yourself to think to yourself I'm glad they're happy and carry on with your life. I really think it could start there. Not saying it will or it should. I just think that's a good starting point is flipping the switch in our brain to what maybe we would have thought, to a new way of thinking. I don't know. Just a thought, because that's a hard question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, these are very tough ones to answer. You know, practicing kindness, how about that? Just random acts of kindness? There's the yeah, that's one of my favorites. There's this TikTok barista, and I don't even know why. It's kind of like, you know, I'm into the housewives. It's kind of like this weird thing that I got into where every now and then, when I'm cleaning or whatever, I turn certain people on on TikTok and I watch their lives and they really speak to me.
Speaker 2:And this one barista, she is so cool because she just has the best positive energy and she has such great things to say to everybody. And when there is somebody that she might not agree with, she just says, oh well, tell me more about that, or I can appreciate that, you know, and I just love that about her. And then she genuinely wants to know more about them. And why do you feel this way? Why do you believe this way? And in no way does even her opinion that might be different come across like they're wrong. She's just wanting to get to know them and that's just such a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:You know. I think that that might be another healing part of this. And how to answer the question, how to strengthen connections in divided times. Listen, practice being a really good listener, and I'm talking literally listening without trying to come up with a response, but just listening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, she does. I mean there's times I and her name is their caffeination station. By the way, on TikTok I'm going to shout her out because I'm so in love with who she is as a human being and I really think that we could all learn from her. I really do, because there's not enough of that going around. We need to demonstrate patience, respect and integrity and avoid contributing to negativity. I have been in a situation in my life where keeping my mouth shut was the only way to go. There was so much more I could have said, but I really did decide to take the high road. I had a boss that we were absolutely going in different directions in our philosophies in life and you know she was very aggressive, wanted to have verbal arguments, so I decided to just leave the job. I also decided to keep my mouth shut and, you know, just move on.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to escalate you know, but that's a sign of maturity, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. So if we keep pouring gas on even a small disagreement, it will eventually erupt when something is burnt. There is just no coming back from that. You can't keep trying to water a dead tree. It's just not coming back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you are so right about that and I've learned that a few times over the last year. And you know what, if there are people who want to keep their distance from me, please and thank you is how I feel about it now, because my track record speaks for itself, kind of like what you were saying. You know I have integrity, I know who I am and I'm okay if you don't want to be on my side. But my hope is that for those who aren't, is that there can still be civility, that we can just cheer our kids at least you know families in life and not hope for bad things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've learned to focus on what I can control, because there is so much out there that's out of my control, not people's actions and some of that could be within my own four walls. You know, I have to just learn to focus on what I can control, learn when to let go and let them. That's a big saying for me Let go and let them.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's a book that should be coming to my mailbox in the next day or two. It's the Let them Theory by Mel Robbins. I'm so excited to read that book because let them, it's so, so, so powerful. I think that we will be posting some things. I actually have some great things to say about that. Just that my counselor sent me on that book, which is why I ordered it. I'm also reading I Want to Trust you, but I Don't, by Lisa Turkis, and boy is that one speaking to my heart too. So I think that we can use our Facebook page to post some excerpts from those two books, because they're super great and they go along with what we're saying. But yeah, let them, it's really hard. Don't let me make you think, oh, it's super easy. No, it's very, very hard. But here's what I'll tell you I think that we are strong and we can do it. Let them we know who we are. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, why not? Why not?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't control that. You know how other people view you, but you absolutely can control your joy, your happiness and what you're going to allow in and if it's not light, if it's darkness, keep it out.
Speaker 2:You know, I read something once to use your compass as your guide. There you go. I mean, it couldn't be more true Hone in on what you believe, what you need, what peace means to you. Set boundaries to protect your peace. No one to walk away, no one to invite constructive conversations. But when there can't be a constructive conversation, I pray. You know I walk around so many times during my day just having conversations. My son the other day he's like who are you talking to? I mean, I'm serious, I will have out loud conversations with God. He is my counselor.
Speaker 1:I think that's wonderful. There's a lot. My brain never stops, so there's a lot of communication going on in my brain. One of the things I think we've talked about before is and I haven't done this religiously, so don't think that, oh my gosh, how do you do it? But I do keep a gratitude journal and I should do it more, just because for everyday reasons. But typically I'll turn to that when I really feel myself sort of spiraling out and boy, it really does pick you up. It's kind of like a hot air balloon. It picks you back up off the ground and raises you up. It's such a powerful tool, Gratitude.
Speaker 2:It really changes everything back to having disagreements that don't have to lead to animosity. I mean, it would just change everything, I think, in the heaviness that I think I'm constantly feeling right now, I really just want to get away from that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree Again. Just because I disagree with you or because you disagree with me, it doesn't mean we have to or that we do hate each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I just want to be neutral sometimes, right, right, not everything has to generate an emotion, true.
Speaker 1:How about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so true I want to live in the neutral zone.
Speaker 1:I married a man like that.
Speaker 2:One of the things that people say about me and I'm kind of proud of this, because I really don't brag about myself very often, but I really do believe this about myself is that I am a genuine cheerleader for people and their successes and I am not one to normally get jealous, and I love telling people that I am so proud of you and help them get wherever it is you know in life, and I really do think that we need more of that.
Speaker 1:I agree and I attest to that you are. You are probably one of the first friends, a female friend, who showed me what you just described about yourself. I remember when we were covering a capital murder case together and I was asked to do this national news coverage of it and I'm like, why did they pick me? I'm so nervous. And you came with me and you were not at all jealous, you were feeding me information. You were right there by my side, my biggest cheerleader. I absolutely love that about you. It is so, so, so true.
Speaker 2:And I've told you all along for the last 16 years I think now, or whatever it is that I will always be one of your biggest cheerleaders. I mean, I really feel that for you.
Speaker 1:So I just I adore that about you and I thank you so much. It's it's so wonderful to have a real cheerleader on your side, not someone who's using you or being fake you know anything for their advantage. You're genuinely happy, as I am, for you, too, and your accomplishments. I always say this podcast is you. You are genuinely happy, as I am, for you, too, and your accomplishments. I always say this podcast is you. You are the one that keeps this thing going. You do not even need me, but yet you still want me here, and so I am absolutely honored.
Speaker 2:Well, we are Real Talk with Tina and Ann, and that's the way it is, so, but I mean just, you know, not to have an agenda. Isn't that a great thing, just to be friends for each other and not have an agenda?
Speaker 1:And know that friends are going to make mistakes. None of us are perfect but let's just talk it out and then let's get over it and move on. I mean, I think that's such an important other aspect to any relationship too, and whatever happened to empathy. I have a lot of it.
Speaker 2:I think that we've lost it.
Speaker 1:I think a lot of people have yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people just aren't genuinely caring for other people in a way that they can put themselves in other people's shoes and really understand who they are. It's just, it's completely gone. And here's a question Can we thrive with division? Can we find peace in chaos?
Speaker 1:I don't think so Well, I thrive in division, gosh, I, you know. I think that's going to be a person-by-person basis. If you take that in the connotation of the sports world. Yes, I think that you can thrive as an athlete in the world right now. I want to say kindness will prevail, that it will all be okay. But I just don't know. I want the division to.
Speaker 1:You know, sometimes when there's a major event, say, for example, okay, the California wildfires people come together and I know that's not really a divisive thing, but it is beautiful to see people come together and help in the rebuilding process from them standing up for what is right, so that it really helps give a certain group or just a single person, whatever. It is just that I don't even know what the word I'm looking for is, not comfort, but I guess just the clarity that, okay, I do matter and it does matter and thank you for standing up for what's right, because even if we disagree, we can still stand together, just because no one should be treated this way. Or you know, whatever the situation is, I'd like to say I hope so. And when it comes to finding peace in the chaos, for me that is absolutely when, if it gets too chaotic, I will pull back and find ways to get my peace back. But again, that's a very individual thing, yeah.
Speaker 2:Even the smallest of ripples can bring about positive change. And you know, I've watched even the smallest ripples of negative bring about a negative change. So I mean, it doesn't take much to change course and go in a different direction. So let's find hope and engage in love and find neutrality Is that a word? It is Okay. Let's find it and come in ground and live in empathy I think that that would be and cheer each other on. I mean just, you know, be there for each other, strengthen connections in our times Absolutely, and then forgive, forgive.
Speaker 2:Be respectful. That's a big one. Oh, that's a big one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Forgive, be respectful and you can always choose kindness, Always. We're going to put that quote up on our Facebook page for Real Talk with Tina and Anne, the one we've mentioned a couple times in here about even if you don't see eye to eye, you can still cheer someone on Amen sister friend. Well, thank you all so much for joining us today on this edition of Real Talk with Tina and Anne. We look forward to seeing you next week. Yay, yay.
Speaker 2:It turned out better than I thought.
Speaker 1:It turned out really good. It turned out really good when I was reading it over before we went on air earlier this morning. I was laughing about your pie. I was laughing so hard. I was like oh, poor Ant.
