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Real Talk with Tina and Ann
Tina and Ann met as journalists covering a capital murder trial, 15 years ago. Tina has been a tv and radio personality and has three children. Ann has a master's in counseling and has worked in the jail system, was a director of a battered woman's shelter/rape crisis center, worked as an assistant director at a school for children with autism, worked with abused kids and is currently raising her three children who have autism. She also is autistic and was told would not graduate high school, but as you can see, she has accomplished so much more. The duo share their stories of overcoming and interview people who are making it, despite what has happened. This is more than just two moms sharing their lives. This is two women who have overcome some of life's hardest obstacles. Join us every Wednesday as we go through life's journey together. There is purpose in the pain and hope in the journey.
Real Talk with Tina and Ann
The Simplicities of life make who we are: When finding our center can mean safety and peace
When was the last time you truly appreciated an ordinary moment? In this heartfelt conversation, we unpack the counterintuitive idea that mundane moments might actually be the most meaningful parts of our lives.
After recovering from a bout with influenza that swept through the family, we reflect on an elderly relative's wisdom: "Be thankful for just the regular, ordinary moments, because that means everything is okay." This perspective shift—from viewing mundane as boring to recognizing it as a sign that all is well—provides the foundation for our exploration of everyday experiences.
We share personal stories about the seemingly insignificant childhood moments that became core memories: a father's daily game of hide-and-seek, watching game shows with grandparents under a special blanket, or the comfort of family traditions. These mundane moments weren't just fillers between significant events—they were the very substance that shaped who we became.
Drawing wisdom from writers like Katie Christian, who notes that "99% of life is mundane and a person's life is a collection of all the moments that happen in the middle," we discuss practical ways to embrace ordinary experiences. From mindfulness techniques like engaging all five senses to creating deliberate moments of silence, we offer strategies for finding meaning in routine.
The conversation takes a poignant turn as we reflect on how, after losing loved ones, what we miss most isn't grand gestures but everyday interactions—their laugh, their cooking, their comforting presence. Through personal stories about treasured mementos like a grandfather's comb or a grandmother's candy dish, we illustrate how the mundane becomes precious in retrospect.
Join us to discover how slowing down, shifting perspective, and embracing simplicity might be the very keys to a richer, more meaningful life—one ordinary moment at a time.
Hey there, welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne. I am Tina and I am Anne. Thanks for joining us. Today. We're gonna be diving into a topic that might sound a bit counterintuitive at first, but it is learning to embrace the mundane moments. Sounds like a weird word, doesn't it? Is it the way that it's written? You know, mundane, I don't know. My mouth struggles to say it sometimes, but recently I have been reminded of what's important. I don't know if you've been hit with this yet, or any of our listeners. It is always top of mind, though.
Speaker 1:My health and the health of my family Well, really came to the forefront when we were sick recently with the flu. Influenza A kicked our butts. It started with my oldest son, it went to myself and then to my youngest. Somehow knock on wood got to do that. My husband and my middle son were spared, but it actually hit me in three different waves. It was really, really wild, and so I am always thankful for my health and now that we are recovered and 100% better, always thankful for my health.
Speaker 1:And now that we are recovered and 100% better, it always makes me go back to being thankful for mundane moments, because it means all is well and it's something that I remember years ago, my husband's grandmother saying that be thankful for just the regular, ordinary moments, because that means that everything is okay. You know there's no one in the hospital, there's nobody crying. Just you know it's no one in the hospital, there's nobody crying. Just you know. It's just like okay, we're here and we're just, we're okay.
Speaker 1:But I do have to admit that embracing mundane does feel hard for me. At the same time, just leading up to us being sick, I started to feel bad about myself, like bored of doing the same thing every single day and just kind of wishing away the days for the warmer weather to arrive. So I think so many of us are used to rushing and we're striving for the next big thing and we're waiting for the extraordinary to come along. But I think it's important that we look to the ordinary, because I think that's what makes things come alive. If we could find joy and peace and meaning in the small and seemingly insignificant moments we experience every day, how great would that be.
Speaker 2:The small things are the things that I really remember and the things that I genuinely love and embrace about my life today. The mundane, the everyday things, those are the things that become core memories. I think, and you know, with my kids and my parents, and I can go to every little thing that my dad would do or that my mom would do, or some things with my aunts, and I'm telling you what that's, who made me, those are the things that made me who I am. You know, my dad. This was so great, but he used to always meet me at the end of my block when I was at swimming and he was my biggest cheerleader and that was a small thing. Some people would just say, you know, he was always there and that was a small thing. Or maybe that kiss that he would give me before he would go to work. And one of my favorite memories and this is absolutely hilarious and I just love this memories and this is absolutely hilarious and I just love this.
Speaker 2:Um, my dad used to, every single night when he would get home from work, he would look for me and I would hide. You know, I would always pick a different place in the house and he would have oh where's Ann, where is she? Even if he would find me, he'd still be like where is she? It was so cute. Well, he had to go to the bathroom one day before he actually started looking for me and I had hid in the bathroom under the sink. There was like this little um alcove or something, just this little thing under the sink, and I went in it and I see him come in. I thought he was going to be looking for me and then I hear him going to the bathroom. And so what did you do, did you?
Speaker 1:stay under the sink.
Speaker 2:In my like four year old self or however old I was, I was still really young I went, you know, I had to sneak a peek and then like stick my head out, like is this really happening? And so I like stuck my head out to look and see what was happening, and he happens to hit me, glance me in the corner of his eye and I hear this get out of here. And I was, I ran out of there so fast, but it was absolutely so funny. So you know what, sometimes those mundane things that you do every day, actually turns into something kind of fun or not fun.
Speaker 2:Yes, it becomes a memory that you never forget.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that is definitely unforgettable. So I totally agree. And I want to go back to something I said right before we started talking about this, and it was. I started to feel bad about myself for kind of wishing some of these days away because it's been a little bit cold and rainy where we live.
Speaker 1:But the real reality of it is in the daytime I feel great, there are a lot of things going on, but in the late afternoon and into the evening, when my kids have sports practices five nights a week and it's myself at home with our little guy and then one of our other kids, given the day at home with our little guy and then one of our other kids, given the day, I just start to feel like, are we really going to do the same thing over and over and over? Like can we play the same three games over and over? Can we watch the same show again? It starts to feel so monotonous. So I'm trying to change it up a little bit and if I can't just give myself grace and go through just that mundane and be happy about it because we're not sick anymore, you know it means nobody's hurt or in trouble or anything like that. So trying to trying to really embrace that. But as you're talking about that funny story, there are just a few that stick out to me. One of my favorite holidays is April Fool's Still to this day I love to prank people, especially those I love, and I used to get my dad all the time and the one time I covered the toilet seat with saran wrap and he didn't see it.
Speaker 1:And first thing in the morning he went to the bathroom and oh boy, did I get a verbal lashing. After that he said if I ever do that again, I'm cleaning up the mess. So I never did do that again, but that one, that one, definitely stands out to me.
Speaker 2:You remember it, don't you?
Speaker 1:Oh, I remember it, I do. And it's funny that we're talking about mundane, because I do remember several years ago it was a day in April where I was walking. It was just my oldest son and I and it was the best, most simple day ever and I remember it and we were just walking around the block, just being outside. I mean literally, that was it. But I remember that day just like, oh, everything is just right in the world, isn't that?
Speaker 2:when things feel perfect, yeah, it isn't anything going.
Speaker 1:Honestly, most of the time feeling that feeling that you're talking about is in the mundane.
Speaker 2:It really is like with my son, who I'm homeschooling now. I mean like we'll take walks or we'll just, you know, do something simple, and it just feels so right.
Speaker 1:It does. No, it certainly does. Well, let's explore how to embrace these mundane things. So I'll start with a question why do we often overlook the mundane? And to answer that, in my opinion, I think it's because we think that ordinary is something we should just pass through as we're trying to get to extraordinary. So, you know, one of the things I'll go back to is my really big hike in 2023. I hiked the Kalalau Trail in Kauai, Hawaii. Do I remember that? Absolutely. Did I train hard for it? Absolutely, but that was also a couple weeks out of my entire life. Will I remember it? Yes, but all of those little things are what make up an even bigger part of my life. I hope that's making sense and I think you know, sometimes we're trying to go through something as quickly as possible, maybe because it just like I was saying earlier, it feels like I'm Groundhog Day.
Speaker 1:You're living the same day over and over and over. But when we stop and reflect, we realize then that those moments are adding up. They're a huge part of our lives in so many ways, and they hold more value than the big events we celebrate. At least they can.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I would say that, just like I talked about earlier with my dad, I mean, those are the things that I remember and will take to my grave, and the same thing with my kids here. It's playing a game with my kids or something like that, and I agree with you. There are times where my kids are watching the same show for the fifth time, or, you know, it's just feels like we wake up breakfast, school, lunch, you know, with my one son, or whatever, and you know I work on things clean the house, maybe clean the same room for the 10th time, and it does feel that way. But I'll tell you what. Going back to what we said earlier, those are the times where everything feels okay and you don't need that extra in order to be happy. It's okay to do those things once in a while. That's what vacations are, for, which you don't take vacation all the time those times are for, but the rest, hopefully, prayerfully, you can have mundane moments.
Speaker 1:You know, as I'm sitting here again just thinking back over memories, some of my most favorite memories growing up were with my aunt, where she and I would play Monopoly for hours at a time while we ate Tostitos it's a tradition, I'd sleep over her house and we would do that all the time and to this day.
Speaker 1:Tostitos are still one of my favorite things and Monopoly is one of my favorite games. Don't play it often because it does take such a long time, but I think what we're getting at here is the time, like the time that someone invested in you and the connection that you have, like you and your dad, your game of hide and seek. You looked forward to it. Maybe it wasn't to someone the most exciting thing, but it mattered to you and look at the impression that it left. Again, mundane can be magical and I think it truly is. So I get a daily email. It's called the Good Trade and it's one of my favorite. I only read a couple of emails, either every day or every week. When I say a couple, I mean two to three, maybe five at the most if we're talking weekly. I love reading the Good Trade because it always gives you something to chew on.
Speaker 1:Mundane days was the topic of conversation in a recent email. Was the topic of conversation in a recent email and in it I loved what writer and podcaster Katie Christian said. She said I sometimes fear that I'm losing myself to the redundancy and that's what we've been talking about. She said it's not that she feels lonely in the season as much as she feels bored, being by herself so often and in the throes of a fairly monotonous routine. She sometimes fears that she's losing herself to redundancy and her actions, conversations, thoughts, she says, begin to kind of blur together, and I can totally relate to that. But what I really loved was how she talked about next, of pondering the idea of cyclical living, what it looks like to stop resisting a life that feels and looks entirely ordinary or even mundane. What does it mean to choose a quiet and unassuming life? Are there benefits to our everyday looking the same? Do we cultivate patience, a stronger sense of self? And then she says the truth is, 99% of life is mundane and a person's life is a collection of all the moments that happen in the middle.
Speaker 1:I really couldn't agree more. Yeah, there are the big things, like you talked about, the adventures and the vacations, and we do need those. It's almost like it boosts. It boosts us and keeps us going. But it's those unassuming parts that fill in the blank pages and shape us into who we are. I love it. That's exactly what it is yeah, and so she goes on to talk about. Think about maybe one of your favorite adventure books from childhood, so maybe, where one of the main characters embarks on a brave quest and, yes, they slayed the dragon, but that was never the whole story. Was it In the chapters that we didn't get to read? Those characters returned home to their very ordinary lives, working and playing and eating and caring for their families, and perhaps then it's not just the dragon slaying that shapes us, but also the moments before and after. So there's all of this reason to embrace what we might be thinking, feeling or living is mundane, but it does get us to. It gets us not even, I don't even want to say gets us through life.
Speaker 2:It helps, boost us and really is the foundation, I think, of each of our lives yeah, I mean, because of how crazy my life is right now, I'm kind of craving some normal and I am finding myself doing everything I can to come back to center and I kind I think mundane for me is center and and I'm just it's more than a craving, I mean I need it and it's like sitting there with a cup of coffee, with my cat on my lap, you know, maybe watching a show, watching my kids play with laughter.
Speaker 2:I love listening to them. Downstairs we have this area where they just play and they just it. Just the sound of them having fun comes up and it just makes my day, it makes my whole heart smile. And the routine that I know and expect you know, expect that's a big one the morning routine all the way until bed, when there is not much going on except for a peaceful day, just a peaceful. The crazier things get, the more I reach for the mundane. I can tell you, the things I wanted in my childhood was the mundane of everyday swim practice, getting together with my friends, going dancing every Thursday night when I got older, with my friends laying with my animals.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I just love routine, and what it represents to me is safety. It just represents safety.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so good. I really feel like my oldest son values that the most out of our children and I think he can relate to that so much and I can too. It's really a funny spot for me to be in right now, as we're talking about mundane, and I say that I feel that way in the evenings because, you're right, like in the daytime it's just really weird. It's like day and night in my life is different, and I'm actually looking forward to hectic summer schedules with sports and things like that, just to give us more time outside something else to do. You know, something that is planned and maybe eventually it does get mundane, because it's the same thing.
Speaker 1:You know I'm watching more baseball or you know something like that, but you know things with my mom are not mundane and you know there's I'm not the most organized person when it comes to my kids' schoolwork and I feel like they bring home a million papers every single day. But I, I just it's I'm okay with that aspect of it and it's I don't know. I just I feel like I'm I'm okay with mundane sometimes and then others I'm just reaching for something to do because of just going back to that whole boredom thing, but like we were talking about getting us back to appreciating this time, knowing that it's going to pick up, yeah, should be enough in and of itself. Isn't it hard to just?
Speaker 2:sit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. It's even harder for me to and I'm not sure that I've done it in recent months at all to shut my brain off and truly be present. That's been really hard for me. My brain is just going, going, going, going going and so I try to, you know, do mindful breathing and things like that to try to help calm it down. But I'll tell you what it just goes a mile a minute.
Speaker 2:You and I talked about this the other night, the other day, because we text each other, sometimes late, and you know, I mean we both have admitted that our nights can be really hard. Yeah, and that's when I've got our family dying. I'm dying, everything is really awful. And then I wake up and everything is fine and you know, great day. And then night comes, the house is silent. I start thinking, my brain takes over, yeah, it's over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can totally relate. Well, let's talk about then and we've touched on some of these things but what it actually means to embrace mundane, is it about slowing down? Is it about being present? Maybe it's about shifting our perspective and finding beauty, the small joys, the meaning that's hidden in everyday tasks that we often overlook.
Speaker 2:That's hidden in everyday tasks that we often overlook. Yeah, I absolutely do think that it's in the everyday tasks that we do overlook, and some of those tasks are just things like picking up the phone. And I'll tell you, I can't wait now to call my daughter, who lives in Pennsylvania, to call her every Sunday at least, or a couple times during the week to talk, and that just warms my heart. I need that and she needs that, and those are the kind of things that we really, really need. And it again brings me back to that, that safety feeling and that everything is okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you've mentioned that every day, things can be so meaningful, and I do agree. Maybe we don't see it at the time, but it all adds up, so let's dive into more. What are some examples of mundane moments that can become meaningful? So I'm thinking about the everyday acts. You know, maybe it's making your morning coffee or tea, or doing the dishes. Listen, I don't know how that can be meaningful. Okay, I'm kidding, my husband's chore is to do the dishes and let me tell you, it brings great meaning to me. It is something that warms my heart. It helps me feel prepared for the day.
Speaker 1:With all the cooking that we have to do, with food allergies, I'm like super grateful and it is a big part of I know it sounds silly, but it's a big part of why I love him, because he really does take charge of that chore and does it consistently and I need that.
Speaker 1:I need that. You know it could be maybe taking a walk. You know some of these things might sound so trivial, but what if we changed our perspective and we started looking at them as opportunities for mindfulness, gratitude and even creativity? So something I've started doing is, as I'm starting to feel bored kind of, in the monotony of things, I have started to take up watercolor painting. I've just yeah, I've looked at stuff that I really, really like and I have just I'm self-taught if you will, I've only done it a handful of times, but I'm actually really loving what I'm creating and I find that I'm getting more creative and it's inspiring my kids to want to do it with me. So it's like a mundane moment turned into creativity. That involved all of my kiddos and we're really enjoying it.
Speaker 2:We do that with a puzzle also. You know I love to draw and art and paint and that kind of stuff and I've been doing that with the kids and we'll all sit around the table with a bunch of paint in the middle in our canvas and we will all create and it's really fun. I mean, that's, that's what it's all about is coming together in something so simple and not exciting, you know, like the thrill of something, but just sitting and being calm and putting something together like a puzzle or making the ordinary come to life.
Speaker 1:You know I do have a a quote that's right along that topic next to my stove because I'm cooking so much that reminds me. You know it says teach kids to. You know, learn how to cry when pets and people die. And it talks about make you know love the ordinary, because it'll make, it'll turn things into extraordinary. It'll work itself out as something like that. It's a great quote. I probably just really botched it. Extraordinary It'll work itself out as something like that. It's a great quote. I probably just really botched it. But the gist of it is the ordinary has so much joy in it.
Speaker 2:You know. Talking about cooking, can I just mention something? My whole life I was kept out of the kitchen as a kid. No, because I always made I don't have depth perception I spilled everything. I made a mess, it was get out of the kitchen Never taught. Then I, you know, when I was trying to raise my older two, everything just I cannot. My executive functioning is not that great. I read a recipe and it just comes apart, you know. It's like well, that's what it was supposed to look like, you know. Anyway, I am finding these videos on TikTok in places where they actually have the video. I can watch it and do it. I am slaying it. I am loving this new chapter in my life where things are really crazy or whatever, and I'll just say oh, you know what, I'm going to make this or I'm going to make that, and I've been starting to cook.
Speaker 1:Good for you. It's like your respite.
Speaker 2:It is. Isn't that crazy? Because the thing that used to like I really felt that I was a failure at, I guess now I'm becoming kind of good at it in a fun way. It really is bringing a joy to my life that I didn't really think would ever, so it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1:That's really cool. I love that for you. Well, if you're having trouble figuring out how to reframe mundane your perspective on it, maybe this, maybe we can help you. So it's not exactly about seeking out excitement. It's really not at all about that. It's about changing how we approach what is already around us. So, by focusing on the details, like the warmth in the cup of coffee or tea that's in your hands, or the rhythm of washing dishes, or knowing that you're doing it because you love someone so much I mean no, does anybody really love washing dishes? No, but the act of service that you're doing, I think, is what you could find a little bit of joy in. So I'm thinking even the sounds of the birds outside, or you know, every time I hear birds outside, I think, oh, we're closer to spring, you know it's coming, it's coming. I think there's something to be said about finding presence and calm in the routine.
Speaker 2:Well, one of my favorite memories of one of my favorite aunts was that she would sit with me when I was a young child and look at a book about birds and I still have the book and look at a book about birds and I still have the book. And she passed away actually a long time ago but I would call her because I couldn't say Ruby, you know, I couldn't say her name. So she became Aunt Birdie until the day she died and I was very much an adult when she well, yeah, I would say in my young adult when she became, when she passed away. But yeah, she was Aunt Birdie until then and I still call her that when I refer to her as that. You know, she used to tell me about all the birds.
Speaker 2:And another aunt of mine, her sister, when she passed away I was the closest living relative and they told me that I could go in and take whatever I wanted out of her apartment. I mean, that's a really hard thing, crazy thing, where everything it just comes down to their belongings in a room and it's just so sad. But they told me that I could go in there and so it just came down to. I wanted a bowl that she always had her candy in, that she always had her candy in a bird music box that I had given her. You know those kind of things and I have a box of my dad's stuff and a box of my mom's stuff and her glasses and Bible and my dad's shoe and I actually have them up in a shelf right over here where I can see some of them. But those are the things that really matter and those are the mundane things that those are the things that become special.
Speaker 1:You're so right. When we embrace moments like that and we can cultivate a deeper sense of peace, we realize that life isn't about those big milestones and grand adventures. Sure, those are fantastic parts of us, but they're just tiny parts of us. It is those little moments, the quiet ones, that actually shape who we are.
Speaker 1:And I love how you're talking about those little things that you found, because when my German grandfather passed away, I got his comb. Why did I get his comb? Because every time it rains I think of him. He used to go. I used to work with him at his business that he owned and I was the secretary there, and whenever it would rain and he had somewhere to go he was big time into soccer he would just go stick his head outside. You know, like this, let the rain hit it and he'd come in and just comb his hair. Water everywhere and he always said, oh, I got to bottle that up because rainwater makes my hair the softest. So I love that I got his comb because it makes me think of him.
Speaker 1:And, like you, when my grandmother passed away the day after my second son was born, talk about living with joy and grief in literal moments that feel like I couldn't even distinguish them. But I got the blanket that she used to always cover me up with when I was a little girl. That, just when I see it. I remember the hours that we used to watch Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune, when I would be over there and she'd cover me with that blanket and she'd scratch my back for so long and always would say, okay, can I stop now? And I'd be like no, so she'd keep going somehow. So that blanket reminds me of that and I have her candy dish and my love for watching game shows stemmed from that.
Speaker 1:And it's those little moments. They never took me and I don't mean this like in any mean way. They didn't ever take me on any grand vacation, but they included me in the things that they did. So I would go with them to their bowling matches on whatever night that was that I don't remember but or whatever morning it was maybe it was a morning Now. I just remember going and I never felt like I was a chore to them. They were happy to bring me along for the ride Again, nothing spectacular, but to me it was the best thing. I was loved and I felt that for sure. And so again, mundane is where it's at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, my son. He still refers to Jeopardy as our show. It's so funny because we watched it a few times. We don't get to watch it very often together, but he calls it our show whenever he sees it and then he says oh, we just have to watch that together, you know? So those really are the things.
Speaker 1:Okay. So before we go a little deeper or maybe flip the script, if you will wanted to take just a brief pause to reflect. I feel like we need to practice what we preach, right? So let's think about your morning today. Was there a moment you rushed through without thinking what if you stopped for just a second to fully experience it? So maybe we'll just take a minute here and I'll kind of fill the time by talking through it one more time.
Speaker 1:Think about your morning today. Was there a moment you rushed through without thinking? So maybe think about, well, why did I do that? Or maybe look back at it and what could I get out of it next time? Or how can I reframe it next time? Maybe that it feels mundane or I feel rushed, but I want it to be a little slower. What could you do to maybe change that?
Speaker 1:So, moving on, if you are like most of us, you might have a tendency to rush. I kind of feel like that's what our culture pushes a lot of the time, but I really can't strongly encourage you enough to try something this week. Slow down and notice the small moments, maybe write them down. I've actually been doing that Particularly. I have the most moments with my youngest son because my older two kids are in school full time but he is not, and so I've been writing down some of the really cute or funny moments that we've shared or things that he's done or said, particularly this week, and it's really cute to go back and remember to share that story with my husband or his brothers and just to have for down the road. So maybe if you this week you can slow down, notice those small moments and then see if you can find a new appreciation for them or any appreciation at all. If they're kind of just going by and you're not thinking about it, notice how it shifts your mood and your perspective.
Speaker 2:You know how I know that this is true is that I'm a big picture person. Everything about I love taking pictures. I mean, I think people get sick of me taking pictures, but I'm a photographer. And so I mean, I think people get sick of me taking pictures, but I'm a photographer and so I mean you're going to have me taking pictures of you, that's if you're around me, there's going to be a picture, and I love it, by the way.
Speaker 2:When I look back and those in the memories, you know, when you have a Facebook account and they bring up the memories and things like that, and you look at something that happened maybe five years ago and my son is like three or something like that and he's laughing and it's just this big joy and I see him now and I just think how fast, how fast, those pictures that I have remind me of. They might have seemed mundane at the time, but they were such a deep, core memory, beautiful. It shows who we were, who they are, who they were at that time. It defines who we were in a moment in time or maybe we did do it all the time, but it's just so important to bring those memories with us and I know that that's true because I also have lost just about so many people that are in those pictures and so I don't think of the really outrageous things when I think of them. I think of those everyday, mundane things that I miss about them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how they made you feel, I bet, is what you remember Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely. You know my aunt, another aunt, my Italian aunt, the one I was named after. Aunt Anna was her name and she spoke a lot of Italian and she used to make all of her noodles because she was from Italy and everything was fresh, right. I mean, she didn't ever follow even a recipe. I mean she just did a dab of this and a dab of that and blah, blah, and she would make this amazing meal. You know, a dab of this and a dab of that, and she would make this amazing meal, you know, and she would send me, and I couldn't wait for those fig cookies to get to me in the mail. They were the best things ever and they were wrapped with love, they were made with love, you know, and those are the kind of things.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. That's so good, that's so so good.
Speaker 1:You know, I think so many of us myself included, our listeners and those watching can go right down memory lane now and just nod their heads like, yes, yes, I remember moments like that in my life and that we go back and we look at the baby books or we look at the wedding album or we look at the memories, because if you don't go back to remember them, you will start to forget, because there's only so much storage that we have in our brains, long-term, short-term and so I think I would like to start this year. I saw a friend do this every year on her kids' birthdays. She brings out the scrapbooks and she talks about the day that they were born, and I love that.
Speaker 1:You know, like my oldest son, he has no idea that the day that he was born it was in July, and I was in the hospital, there was a tornado warning and what they did to was hysterical. Okay, you know, a hospital room is, I don't even know, five by eight, I'm not sure it's tiny, okay, and there's a window in there. And so they said make sure you give mom, the baby who just had a C-section, me. And they moved me sort of diagonal from the window about three feet from where I was. That was it. I was like I kind of thought that maybe, like my husband should go out in the hallway with the baby. You know, it just thinks like that. It makes us laugh still to this day. But I'm not even sure that I ever shared that story with my oldest son, and so wouldn't that be a fun thing to know Of course you had a baby during a tornado, right Of course you did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, isn't that funny. But I'm not even sure that I've ever told him that story. So I thought that's such a great idea to be able to go back and look at those books and reminisce about when he was born. That's a great idea 'm. I think I'm going to do that because you do.
Speaker 2:You start to forget if you don't remember there's a lady that I watch on TikTok that's going to be 100 and her granddaughter I think she lives with her or something but she is interviewing her constantly about every little thing in her life, the mundane things in her life, and she is documenting everything in her life. You know, right now on TikTok for people to see and for her workforce to have forever, and I think that that's just the most beautiful thing. Like what was your husband like when he dated you? Did you drive when you were 16? Did you? And she talks about everything that was going on in the world and with her and it's just such a great thing. It's so fun to watch.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. You'll have to share that with me sometime. I will. It sounds great, Okay. Well, I wanted you, Anne, to talk for a second. There's a quote that I got from the Good Trade. Amy Ann Cadwell said simplicity is a kind of sanctuary. Slow down to settle into love and appreciation for your life just as it is. Tell us a little bit about when you were preparing for this episode. How did it make you feel?
Speaker 2:before I started preparing for the episode, there was nothing calm in me, nothing. The second that you sent me the ideas and all the quotes and everything that you had written out for the episode, I instantly felt a calm. I instantly did Writing about it, thinking about it, just spending time with it just changed my entire being on the inside.
Speaker 1:I love that. It's the mundane, the magic of the mundane, and that perspective shift. I'm so, so glad. Well, let's talk about the flip side. You know, anne had said earlier, maybe life goes at warp speed, and I would agree. Even in my mundane there are still warp speed moments and you want to know how to make it slow down. Well, gandhi said there's more to life than increasing its speed, and I really love that. So Jay Shetty has a podcast he's the host of On Purpose, and he talks about some steps to be more present when life is flying by, and I thought we could go over some of these, because some of them I'm like wow, yeah, I never thought about it in that frame of mind, and so maybe this will help you too. So one of the first things he talked about in the podcast was getting up 20 minutes before you actually need to, because that sets the tone for calm and space first thing in the morning.
Speaker 2:I agree, it really does. When the house is quiet, I'll go downstairs before people start moving, sometimes, if I am able, or stay up late when everybody goes to bed and just take in just soak in the quiet. I do the treadmill during those times. I can read, I can listen to an audio book, I can write. And that's me, that is my time, and I don't get it very often. I crave it and you can't get any more mundane than that, I think. But I mean it's, I just crave it and I need it. I need it.
Speaker 1:I think people who do it would absolutely agree that it is a necessary part of life. That's a catch-22. In the summer I find I'm more inclined to get up a little earlier. I get up early as it is, you know, around 5, 5.30. So it's already like oh, I don't know that I want to get up in the four o'clock hour, but sometimes I'm able to do that, but again, mostly when it's a little bit warmer outside, but especially on the weekend.
Speaker 2:if I'm the first one up, there's just nothing more relaxing than just having a little bit of space. Could you imagine never being able to live in the mundane or come back to center? Could you imagine that?
Speaker 1:You'd be constant chaos. No, I personally my personality, would not thrive in that situation. That would be too overwhelming for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's something that for our mental health, for our physical health, I think that that's the way we're built.
Speaker 1:I would agree. Well, one of the things that Jay Shetty also talked about was using only one device at a time. How many times have you found yourself maybe you're watching a show, but you have your phone in your hand, you know, or you're talking on the phone and you're, you know, doing just all kinds of things.
Speaker 1:I guess, technically, if you were cooking and having a device in your hand, that that would be considered one thing. But a lot of the time, if I'm cooking, I have a radio on, so that's a device. And I think the whole point is, you know, so, if and I would even go as far to say if you're driving, that is the device and that is the only thing that you should be doing in those moments. You know, if it's the phone, then that's the device, and the whole purpose is to keep a little more focused. You know he talked about something really interesting in his podcast and it was about texting and driving.
Speaker 1:He polled the people who were in his class, say, and he said how many of you feel like you can do more than one thing at the same time?
Speaker 1:And most everybody raised their hand and he asked how many of you think that you're good at texting and driving? And a lot of people raised their hand and you know people would say oh well, you know I can have my phone in one hand and the steering wheel in the other and didn't really see a problem with it. Well, you know I can have my phone in one hand and the steering wheel in the other and didn't really see a problem with it. So then he had other people that were in the room and they stood up and said well, now we'd like to share our story. We lost a loved one to someone who was texting and driving. They they hit and killed my loved one, and he said. Almost every single one of those people who raised their hand and said that they were proud. You know that they were able to text and drive were in tears over what happened to those families and the hope was that it would make them think twice before, thinking that that was a smart thing to do.
Speaker 2:I don't text and drive, but I do find myself watching TV with my phone. I do that a lot. I like to play games on my phone sometimes or just do things that don't make me think. You know, the hardest thing for me, I think, is to let my brain be in silence. Then my brain starts taking over, and I don't like listening to my thoughts a lot of times. So what I do is I want the TV on, I want a noise in the room so it can stop me from thinking.
Speaker 1:I can relate. We want something to just kind of veg out, numb out, and I get it, but maybe just one device at a time so the brain's not on overload, is kind of what he's talking about. Then he talked about taking 30 seconds to engage all five senses. That's just a grounding thing. So it's the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And I don't remember how it all goes, but I think five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell, and I honestly can't remember two things you can touch. Maybe or maybe the touch is the five. Anyway, you could look up the 5-4-3-2-1 method and it would come up. But it's just engaging all of your senses. So, grounding yourself, centering yourself Okay, what is up around me right now? Okay, what do I feel, what do I see, what do I hear. And then it like internalizes you to where you're paying attention to your body and its needs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it works. They do it at school. A couple of my kids go to a special school and I know in other programs that they've been in to help special needs kids they use that, so it's a great grounding.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's so good to know. Yes, I need to do that more often. I'm really good at the what do I hear and what do I see, and sometimes you know what do I smell If I. It's actually something that helps with my anxiety a bit. So I do that, just not not as often, but I do try to make my kids aware of their surroundings by telling them at times you know to to do those things. I thought this next one was really really interesting Obey the speed limit. And this is because it will purposely help you slow down. And it does go back to that texting and driving scenario that I shared just a few minutes ago. You getting there four minutes earlier may not make any difference, but it could be all the difference in someone else's life. In other words, if you hit someone, you know if you get into a crash. So that's what he's talking about with obey the speed limit. I'd never thought about what that could have you know for helping you kind of slow down if things are getting too fast could happen.
Speaker 2:And it's OK if somebody is behind you and they're mad and they're beeping or whatever.
Speaker 1:I mean you know You've got to block that stuff out. It's not worth it.
Speaker 1:So, of course, one of the other things that was talked about was being present with your breath to align your body and mind, and I know that this is true. It's a technique that we use in yoga, and I'm looking forward to my upcoming yoga class, because I haven't gone in a few weeks with sickness, and I'm really looking forward to reconnecting with my breath. I can tell when my anxiety gets too high for whatever reason. I can go back to my breath and it really does help, so much so that I put my pulse ox on and I like to watch what happens. When I really control my breathing. It really does. It does work.
Speaker 1:Like I can feel I'm getting a stomach ache and so I'm like okay, it's time to start breathing and you can. You can either watch the anxiety go up or down by being mindful of your breath when I put the pulse ox on. And you know what else is funny about that? It's kind of like a good lie detector test. My husband and I were doing this just for fun, asking each other. It was actually me asking him just silly questions, and when he would lie, you could see the heart rate go up on the pulse.
Speaker 1:It was really fun and so I'd be like you're lying. And at first he was like, well, how do you know? And I said, because your heart rate's telling me everything I need to know right now, and he just started laughing. It was I don't even know the silly questions that I was asking, but it was a fun tool to do and use.
Speaker 2:I was going to mention the heart rate because you know, I have my Fitbit and and, yeah, when, when I get more anxious or whatever, I mean, yeah, my heart rate goes up. Yeah, I always know when I've had a really anxious day or not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want that to help better monitor myself. Okay, so the next thing is find and create moments of silence every day. This is what we've talked about throughout the podcast. That can be really, really hard, but listen. Your brain, my brain, all of our brains need time to decompress from all of the processing it's doing all day long. You need that silence and in that silence you could focus on your breath or you could focus on mindfulness, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, any of those things. It is important, even just a few minutes.
Speaker 2:How many times do we go through something and we're like just wait, I need to process this. I need time before I do anything, say anything, and we do. We need to process what is happening throughout our day sometimes and it's good for our mental health Again we need it and I don't think that you're ever going to find the time to do that.
Speaker 1:I think you have to purposely make it. There are so many times where I'm like I need to process this and I don't process it because I don't make the time for it.
Speaker 2:When I used to be the director of the battered woman shelter, we would go through so much in a day, even shelter. We would go through so much in a day, even, and we would make it a point to all come together and decompress, talk, you know, process the things that had happened before. We would actually leave, check in with each other, make sure that we were okay, you know, and that kind of stuff, and I think that you have to do that.
Speaker 1:I agree, one of my favorite ways to kind of slow down or to get re-centered is by being in nature or even look at nature. Okay, so we were made. Humans were made to be part of nature. We just were. We were meant to crave it and like being outside. So if you feel drawn to it, that's why you can look up all the science. I'm not just saying that, it's true, it's how we were made and it really does have a way of healing us. You're feeling a little bit stagnant or stalled or upset. I'm like, okay, I got to get up and move and, plus, I love watching what all the animals do. I mean, nature can tell us so many things and you know what else. Nature is cyclical and maybe some find that mundane, but I find that beautiful knowing what we can expect out of nature in the seasons.
Speaker 2:Don't you? Yeah, I absolutely do, and I love hiking too. I love going outside with my kids throwing the leaves up in the air or whatever. You know, I have several places in nature that I love to just sit and be calm. Do you have a favorite nature spot?
Speaker 1:So there is a local park that is one of my all-time favorites and it's by water and there are picnic tables there and it has this one dead tree in amongst all the others that just stands out and I find it to be absolutely beautiful. And then, across the way across the pond, is this other tree that blooms beautifully in the spring and in the fall, and in the fall it's always neat because half of it is one color while the other half is a different color, and it just reminds you about the change of seasons and maybe the hard and the beautiful all together. And so I like to go to the spot. It's been my comfort for a variety of losses and it's been my comfort to just go and enjoy the absolute beauty that it is. So there is a particular spot that I have and, honestly, a particular picnic table that has just been my home away from home when I need to process or when I need to grieve, or when I need to just take in sunshine and beauty and just think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, trees are huge to me. I have even written poetry about trees. I have a whole section of a book that I have placed someplace. You know about trees and they speak to me. It's like a. And they speak to me it's like a. It's really a personal thing to me. And you talked about a dead tree. I mean so I don't know. They're all.
Speaker 2:they all have their personality, they have a story, each and every each and every tree has a story, and birch birch trees are some of my favorites. We have a tree in our yard that people actually stop and say, oh my gosh. You have a redwood tree in your yard which you know. It's really rare in our area to have something like that, so you have a redwood tree?
Speaker 1:We do. I didn't know that because aren't those the big trees that you see out west? Yes, wow, that is pretty spectacular. Well, I think trees are so interesting and, as I have just dabbled in the interview process for trying to get an additional job to work from home, I've been kind of researching different interview questions and someone said, well, what if you were asked what kind of tree you would be? And I thought for a moment and my answer is a palm tree. And they said, well, why? And I said because it can weather the storms, it is strong, I love it, but it doesn't break. And so that is the tree I would pick if I was asked that question.
Speaker 1:And so, just like you're saying, I think there, you know, some trees are softer than others, some people are softer than others, some trees can bend and not break, and some people can do the same thing. I think there's a lot we can actually relate to, not even just with trees, but nature in general way that we see things is so unique to each of us. I would just encourage you to find what you connect with and just keep looking at it from different perspectives and remember the mundane can be so magical. It's something we should look for, the joy in those moments every single day, because I really truly believe that is the heart of who we are single day, because I really, truly believe that is the heart of who we are.
Speaker 2:We are not the crazy and the you know all the time and we're constantly searching to come back to center. So you know everybody that's listening here. I really encourage you to find your center and find out where your family lives in a center, so you guys can experience that together, because that's when some of our biggest joys are.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Well. Thank you all of you for listening to Real Talk with Tina and Anne. We hope that you will embrace simplicity and mundane in your daily life, and if you find that you're struggling too, we hope you'll come back to this episode and start to think about ways that this week you can make that happen.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to Real Talk with Tina and Anne and we will see you next time.
