Real Talk with Tina and Ann

One woman's pain became a national movement that helped a million people find homes: Karen Olson and Family Promise

Ann Kagarise Season 3 Episode 23

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The simple act of handing a ham and cheese sandwich to a homeless woman named Millie sparked something extraordinary – a movement that would transform the lives of over a million people experiencing homelessness across America.

Karen Olson's story begins with profound childhood loss. When her mother died by suicide, it created a hole in her heart that gave her unique empathy for others' suffering. Years later, while working in corporate America developing marketing campaigns, Karen felt called to something more meaningful. That sandwich in 1981 became the first step in a journey that would change countless lives, including her own.

What makes Karen's approach revolutionary is her philosophy of meeting people exactly where they are, without judgment. After discovering that families with children represented 35% of the homeless population, she created the innovative model behind Family Promise: religious congregations working together to provide shelter in their buildings on a rotational basis, with volunteers offering meals, support, and most importantly, human connection.

The statistics Karen shares are sobering – one in 30 children experiences homelessness annually, with most renting families spending over half their income on housing. But Family Promise's 81% success rate offers hope in addressing this crisis. Now operating in 44 states with 200,000+ volunteers (a volunteer force larger than Ford's workforce), the organization has expanded to include prevention, transitional housing, and comprehensive support services.

Karen's personal journey took another challenging turn when a cryotherapy accident left her with a spinal cord injury. Yet she continues finding ways to make a difference through speaking engagements and adaptive painting, embodying Pablo Picasso's wisdom: "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

Join us for this powerful conversation about turning pain into purpose, the healing that comes from helping others, and how authentic human connection can transform both the helped and the helper. Whether you're curious about addressing homelessness in your community or seeking inspiration to make a difference, Karen's story reminds us that we all have the power to create ripples of positive change.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne. I am Anne, karen. I am so moved to have you here, not just because of your book Meant for More, following your Heart and Finding your Passion, but the movement that you have built, the compassion that you live by, and the way that you turn personal pain into a nationwide purpose. Your philosophy of meeting people exactly where they are is something that I absolutely love. You didn't just dream of change. You created it, one act of kindness at a time. It all began with a simple ham and cheese sandwich in New York City. That just made me smile. A moment of connection with a woman named Millie who was experiencing homelessness. That moment sparked something far greater than you could have ever imagined. It became the beginning of Family Promise, a national organization that you created with one act of kindness and now, 38 years later, continues to offer individuals and families with children the dignity of shelter, stability and hope.

Speaker 1:

Today, thanks to your vision, family Promise is powered by over 200,000 volunteers nationwide and serves more than 180,000 men, women and children each year. You have helped more than a million people. That is more than a mission. It is a national movement. Now, this is impressive If you converted volunteers into employees.

Speaker 1:

As you say in the book. You, behind Ford and in front of Disney and Costco, family Promise has kept its promise and became the nation's leader in helping people who are unhoused. You have been able to provide shelter, transitional housing, affordable housing and a host of other services and programs for families that we will talk about today. You also have a success rate of I think it was like over 80-some percent 81% that's amazing. You personally were invited to the White House in 1992 and received the Annual Points of Light Award for your use of volunteers to help solve a social problem, and what I love most is that in your entire story, actually. But you are proof that it isn't just about homelessness or volunteering. It's about healing, and one of the messages that threads throughout your entire book is that when we help others, we don't just lift them, but we also are helping ourselves, and I think that that's really important. You are a great example of turning pain into purpose. Thank you so much for being here. It is an honor to have you here.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you, anne, it's my pleasure to be here.

Speaker 1:

I want to take a moment to talk about your childhood and then we'll lead into your work with Family Promise. But when I first read about the pain and the loss that you experienced as a child, I was heartbroken. When I read the words on the page, I am so sorry for what you went through. I truly didn't expect it, because on the outside your family looked picture perfect. You know you lived in an affluent community, went to church, had a 33-foot cabin cruiser, a successful father who was an architect and had a deep bond with your mom. You know you played outside, did all the things that you know I did as a kid. You know swam I was a swimmer, caught frogs.

Speaker 2:

you know we lived outside back then, right Before the internet, right, yeah, yeah, we played all the time when we went out, played on the street in somebody's yard, yep yep, but you are living proof that we never truly know what someone is going through, is going through.

Speaker 1:

Your story shifted from that picture perfect to a painful moment in just one second. A clear line, when innocence was lost and time was divided. You wrote that childhood shapes us. How did it shape you? Would you be willing to share what happened? Would you be willing to share what happened?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I will. As I mentioned, I was very close to my mother, not so close to my father. He was an alcoholic, but he did stop drinking when he was 40 and he found AA. But I was even closer to my mother, probably because we could never rely on my father, you know, because of his drinking. But I was extremely close to my mother and she was close to me and all the neighborhood kids, everybody loved my mother. She was a lot of fun to be with and we would load up in her Chevrolet and go to the beach every day during the summer, and she was right there, it was very good. Or we would go out in our boat, load up in her Chevrolet, and go to the beach every day during the summer, and she was right there, it was very good. Or we would go out in our boat and learn to water ski.

Speaker 2:

But one day I left for school and I hugged my mother. Goodbye. That's after I had breakfast with her. She drank coffee, I said, at the table, and had toast and juice, and then she said goodbye to me and hugged me and I usually when she stays at the window and waves, but this time she continued to say the window. So I turned around as I crossed the street. She was still waving, so I waved. I walked a few steps into the neighbor's yard, turned around and she was still waving, so I waved. I cut across the yard, about to climb over the stone wall, and I thought I saw her still waving. So that was very unusual behavior, but I didn't think anything of it.

Speaker 2:

And then I got the bus to school. And when I got the bus to school I had classes. And then lunch came and I went to my homeroom because we had lunch in our homerooms and a woman came in. I finished my sandwich, had an ice cream sandwich. Woman came in from the office and looked at Mr Luce that was a homeroom teacher and then looked at me and they whispered. And then Mr Luce said when, after the secretary from the office left, mr Luce said Karen, when you finish your lunch, go to the office. They need to see you. So I jumped up right away and finished my sandwich and he said no, finish your ice cream sandwich, which I didn't want. But I gulped it down and then went to the office and they said you know your family wants you at home. And I said okay, and the woman who was driving me was very, very nervous and made small talk.

Speaker 2:

And then I got home and my grandmother was there and my grandmother was coming down the steps and she should have been in Macy's book department where she works. But yet she was there and she said Mom, I had a nervous breakdown, but you can see her when she gets better. And I thought I was. That made me feel like okay at that moment, because you know, I heard other women had nervous breakdowns. I thought maybe it's something that just happens to people, you know.

Speaker 2:

But then two days later my father stood before me. I was on the sofa watching television. He just stood in front of me. He said Mommy died and I jumped up and I beat, pounding my fist against his chest and you know, he then gave me a pill. He said the doctor said to take this with Coca-Cola. So I did and it instantly knocked me out. So that's how people deal with grief at that time. But I later learned that my mother had committed suicide, that she dove out of the second floor window. She opened the window, second floor, and walked down to like it was the roof of the first floor and I guess was desperate and just dove and hit her head. She was a very good diver, so I imagine she did a dive and hit her head and it broke her neck and she was taken to the hospital and two days later she died. So I, you know my whole.

Speaker 2:

It created such a hole in my heart you know, and people just didn't talk about it then and I didn't talk about it then and I didn't either. So none of my friends said anything At school. Nobody said anything. That's just how people dealt with things then. But I would cry myself to sleep each night and one of my father's friends had given me a stuffed toy cat that had a rubbery face and I called him Mike Cat and I would hug him and cry and within a few short weeks his smiley face was just washed away with my tears. So that's how I dealt with that. Nobody said, gee, you might want to see a counselor. It was none of that. I'm so glad there's such good attention to suicide these days and how it affects families.

Speaker 2:

But back then it didn't.

Speaker 1:

We just didn't talk about that stuff back then. I mean it just yeah, it was a different time and things were kind of like swept under the rug. We just kind of just kept going as if tragedy did not happen.

Speaker 2:

Nothing happened, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was really strange. Can I ask how your relationship with that memory has changed over time, for who you became today, for who you became today?

Speaker 2:

Yeah well, I used to. When I speak, I talk about giving a sandwich to Millie out in the front of. Grand Central Station. That's how it began, but if I look back, it really began when my mother died, because it was such a loss and created such pain, made a hole in my heart Now.

Speaker 2:

I knew what pain was. I knew what depression was. I knew what depression was, and the automatic response for me was I didn't want anyone else to suffer, and so I wanted to become a nurse. And I was a candy stripe. My stepmother, who had been a nurse, persuaded my father not to send me to nursing school. She said you know what she was a, a nurse, and I would never make a good nurse.

Speaker 2:

So I had a pivot and I studied business administration, which led me on a corporate path, but I still had that something in me that wanted to make a difference and it began to manifest in other ways and it began to manifest in other ways.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I strongly believe that we can take our pain and help others with it. But you had a prayer where you prayed for your mommy and you prayed for her to be happy and you wanted to make a difference and you wanted to make sense of it. It felt like in your prayer and I was just so taken back by that because my dad passed away when I was a kid Very different circumstances, but I became hardened by it and you seem to have really grasped on to that hole in your heart and wanting to make a difference in helping others and I just find that so beautiful that that's what you did. You became one with your pain. Can you talk more about how important that is, to acknowledge your pain?

Speaker 2:

and it's really what propelled me forward. I mean, when my mother died and that hurt was turned into passion, wanting to make a difference, I identified with others. Whether it was somebody who was homeless, or a student in class who was upset and crying, I was there. Or the boy across the street who was dying of cancer, I played tennis with him. I prayed in my house, in my living room. I can remember I would dance and say a prayer, or I would go out into the woods and pray. Wrenching pain was so unbearable that I could only pray. God bless Mommy and keep her safe and may she be happy. Oh please, dear God, help me to love everyone. Oh God, please help me make sense of all of this. Yeah, that was my child life prayer one. Oh God, please help me make sense of all of this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that was my child life later. Yeah, I pictured you in that moment and you know, as a child saying that prayer. It's very beautiful and it says a lot about who you are.

Speaker 2:

It didn't hurt me at all that I'm aware of because I just wanted to reach out to people and make a difference. Just wanted to reach out to people and make a difference. But you know, maybe I didn't. In some ways, maybe I was afraid of getting close to people you know, because I had that loss. But that didn't stop me from reaching out to people who were suffering, you know, and helping them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there is a difference, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly Because you're afraid, like if you're in a relationship, you're afraid that you may lose him. You know because you've already experienced loss. Right, but in terms of helping people, that was my propeller.

Speaker 2:

You know, the death of my mother, which I, you know, hurt, and I didn't want anyone else to hurt. So that drove me to volunteer at Greystone State Hospital in New Jersey Psychiatric patients, and to do different things. And then, as you say, I then got a job for the Warner Lambert Company. I was charged with developing sweepstakes and couponing events for products like Chick Razors and Listerine Mouth, and while I enjoyed that, it was competitive, it was creative. You know, I still yearn for so much more.

Speaker 2:

And then one day, in November 1981, I was about to pass a homeless woman who I had seen before. She sat on a crate. She always looked down and sad. She was in her 70s and on impulse I ran across the street into a deli and got her a ham and cheese sandwich and an orange juice. And when I came back and handed it to her she said thank you, god bless you. I haven't eaten since yesterday. And she took my hand and her upset. At that point I felt like I crossed an invisible line as I held her hand Because it was told, don't go near one of those people. But that led me to. Then I told my two sons about Millie and he said let's go into New York find more people like Millie's. So we did and we ended up in Grand Central Station and essentially anybody sitting on a bench. They were waiting for their bus. They were simply homeless and that's where they stayed and I got to know their stories of abandonment. Some had mental illness, some substance abuse, but I got to know them by name and I got to know their stories. Know them by name and I got to know their stories.

Speaker 2:

We would go in every other Sunday afternoon with 75 sandwiches. Really, the sandwiches were a vehicle to say I cared, because if I didn't have the sandwich, how would I say I cared? I guess I could say how are you and everything, but it was really, you know, it was a way of saying I cared, decided. I wanted to invite my friends from Port Authority back to my house for Thanksgiving dinner. Now, the thing about that is I'm not a very good cook and I've never even cooked a Thanksgiving dinner. But that didn't stop me and Bill Harrison, my neighbor, who was a bond trader on Wall Street, made the turkey, and other neighbors made other things. So we got two cars and we picked our friends up from Port Authority bus terminal at the bus stop in Summit and it kind of wrecked. We're probably homeless, yeah, but I can't even see that clearly. I see them as people, but anyhow, I don't know what it looked like to my neighbors. I did hear a few comments, but we just had a wonderful day and everybody sat around the table and reminisced about Thanksgiving's past. You know, they walked around my house and told me how I could fix certain things, like the shelf in the kitchen was sagging a little bit and they took a screwdriver and a screw and fixed it. I don't know, it was just you don't put on airs like that. It was just so heartfelt. It meant a lot to me and my kids and my neighbors and to our friends from Port Islet, freddie.

Speaker 2:

And then from there I wondered what was happening in my own county of Union and I began volunteering at a soup kitchen and a shelter and social service agencies and that's where I met families who were homeless and living in their cars. But many were actually working but couldn't afford housing. And these were kids too. You know mothers, fathers and kids sleeping in their cars. And I thought, is the religious community? Know, in Summit you don't see homeless people. I've later learned there are and we've helped them. I'm on a task force but anyhow, I thought, does the religious community know?

Speaker 2:

So I planned a conference on family homelessness and Bob Hayes, the founder of the National Coalition for the Homeless, spoke.

Speaker 2:

He was a Wall Street attorney and mounted a class action suit right in the streets of New York when he established a right to shelter. But after the conference and I said very little I had a minister, a rabbi and a priest facilitate the conference, in which 200 people attended. The only thing I said at the end of the conference if we stay together and work together, people like Wendy will have a home. Wendy was a woman who spoke, who was homeless with her daughter, and she lived in a suburban community and she spoke to us. And then after that, I didn't want it just to be such a nice conference where people would say, well, somebody should do something about this. So I asked how many of you would be willing to come back to another meeting and talk about how we might establish shelter in Union County and other means of support for families experiencing homelessness, and almost every hand went out. Several weeks later I had the meeting at Christ Church in Sumba with a bunch of folks.

Speaker 1:

You know your life changed in a second and a lot of the people that you have met through the years have had the exact same thing happen to them in different stories and that their lives were changed in one moment. And I was wondering if that fragile moment is where you meet the people that you have helped throughout the years. Yes, I identify with them.

Speaker 2:

And that takes me right back to that fragile moment. And even though their situation is different than mine, they're still hurting, and so I identified with that and I want to help in whatever way I can, and that's why I began, you know, giving sandwiches, but then that led to so much more, to the conference and then ultimately creating a program for families with children.

Speaker 2:

And then, as you say, that led to a national organization with close to 200 affiliates providing shelter, meals, prevention services, transitional housing and so much more, Even programs for pets. Some of our affiliates allowed oh okay, yeah, that so much more.

Speaker 2:

Even programs for pets Some of our affiliates allow. Oh okay, yeah, that started in Phoenix. We're there because you know they face this situation of should we continue to live in our cars, so Daisy will continue to be part of our family, or should we give Daisy up and take shelter? So you know, our affiliate in Phoenix saw that as a problem and they created a pet program and then other affiliates replicated. They say there's about a dozen that have some sort of pet program. So a lot of innovations come out of this. People want to make a difference and they bring their creativity.

Speaker 2:

I guess my moment was giving the sandwich to Millie, but when I started the Interfaith House Vitality Network, which was later called Family Promise, it allowed people to get involved because the program ended up being 12 congregations who worked together on a weekly rotational basis to provide shelter, meals and other assistance. So volunteers get involved. They bring their own children to volunteer, they prepare meals, they talk, they interact with families and that's really, you know, the secret sauce of family promise. Some have changed now and more have a static site, but they do their best to engage volunteers. That happened when COVID struck. It changed a lot.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it changed a lot of things. You know, I've always believed that every moment in our lives is a stepping stone and that nothing is wasted. When you started riding that train after your mom had passed away and you started visiting your grandma in New York City when she worked at Macy's, you know, I believed that you were supposed to be there. That experience opened your eyes. You went, like we said earlier, from all that affluence to New York City, where everything was so different. You know, new York has always held a special place in my heart too.

Speaker 1:

I grew up in a place that was with no diversity none and I've always been drawn to cities like New York because it's so rich in culture and humanity and I want my kids to see the beauty in all kinds of people and backgrounds. And just last summer, when my son was eight, we walked past a man who was homeless outside of SACS and my son said he walks up to everybody who is homeless and he makes sure that he has a conversation with them. And yeah, and he said I'm going to get you something to eat. And he did that all by himself, so I was so proud of him.

Speaker 2:

How beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, every time that we go back to New York we look for him. But I thought about your Gaga. You know your grandma when you wanted to feed a homeless man in New York when you were young, your grandma said no. Where your grandma said no. So what stigmas do you see that keep people from getting that sandwich or giving it to them or maybe starting a conversation with them?

Speaker 2:

Your son actually has the open heart of a child that hasn't been taught to think this way or that way. He just reacts with his heart. But the stigma for many people is they're afraid. They don't know if they want to do something, they're not sure what to do. But for many people it's the stigma of, oh, you're mentally ill or they're alcoholics or it's unsafe to go near them. So there's a big stigma there for involving people.

Speaker 2:

I did end up having a number of my neighbors come in and join me when I would go in on Sunday to bring the sandwiches and that was really wonderful. And some got even more involved, like this one man, bob Nielsen. He had John, who was an alcoholic and homeless in Port Authority, back to his house for a shower and just stay overnight and he ultimately got John into a veteran's home in Long Island, which was very nice. But Bob is certainly an exception. Most people are afraid mentally ill or substance abuse. But I started to say in Summit there were 25 people who were homeless in Summit, new Jersey, where I live, on the streets and everything. So we formed a task force on homelessness and we were able to help 20 of the 25 find apartments and it's life-changing, just absolutely life-changing, you know, once they have their own place and their dignity back. But the other five have problems like mental illness and substance abuse. But we're trying to work with them.

Speaker 2:

But I think it's just a stigma. People are afraid. But that's one of the reasons too. When I decided I wanted to help in a bigger way and I ultimately ended up leaving my job at Warner Lambert, I focused on families because they were at the time the fastest growing segment of the homeless population, accounting for 35% of all those who were homeless, and I thought that is something that really just community could do. And that idea proved to be true because they weren't afraid to come back into their own church and prepare a meal or stay overnight or bring their kids to volunteer. I remember one woman who came with her six-year-old daughter and she said we're going to see the homeless, we're going to volunteer and see the homeless at church. So she went to church and she just started playing with the other kids and then she walked out and they went to the car. She said Mommy, when are we going to see the homeless? She was expecting she had a vision of what the homeless looked like, but it's just kids playing with kids, that's really beautiful.

Speaker 2:

So the whole thing grew and, as I saw, it was, you know, replicable. And wherever I went I went to Ohio or Pennsylvania or the county People wanted to do this. The two counties next to my county of Union came to me and said how do we start this program? I told them how to do it, spoke and ultimately developed some manuals and it just spread. And why it spread is there's a need everywhere for shelter, support services and care for homeless families, and I'd say a good half of them are working. And there's also the need in the hearts of people to make a difference. Otherwise we wouldn't have 180,000 volunteers involved at any given time.

Speaker 2:

It makes a difference in the lives of guests, but also volunteers, some of these stories of how lives have been changed.

Speaker 2:

And you know, even volunteers like Pace, who worked for San Diego National Labs as a scientist and they were hosting a going away party for him and all the people in his department stood up and gave a perfunctory speech, you know. But then one woman raised her hand shyly, alice, and asked if she could speak and she said what I remember, mr Pace for is that I had a flat tire and it was a cold night and it was raining and a car drove up behind me and stopped and got out and it was Pace and changed the tire. She said now I have a whole different view of him because he, you know, he wasn't just a suit, he was somebody who really cared and that encouraged Pace to get more involved. When Family Promise came to his church he got involved as coordinator, was coordinator for 10 years and had families back to his house and at the end of all this he said to me you know Family Promise and the guests, yeah, he just said that it enabled him to have a more compassionate heart.

Speaker 1:

It enabled him to have a more compassionate heart. One of the most powerful messages in your book is when you reflect on your mother's life and wonder how it might have been different if people had simply met her with kindness, understanding and a space to express herself, without judgment. I think that that is probably I mean judgment when we so often talk about what's going on in our lives. We just want to be met with an understanding heart, somebody that's looking at us to genuinely just listen, without judgment. You know, I've always believed that one of the greatest gifts that we can give another human being is the freedom to be fully themselves. You know, real raw, honest, without that fear of judgment, and clearly that's the truth. That family promise and that you have lived by, even as a single mom. Your purpose never wavered and I love how you had mentioned it, but you did talk, you did take your boys into New York, you let them experience all that life could be with compassion and courage instead of fear and that stigma. So that was so beautiful.

Speaker 1:

That quote that you shared from Leo Biscagli is one of my favorite. You know, I just love him. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Could you talk about loving without judgment?

Speaker 2:

It's not our job to judge. We're all part of God's family and you meet people where they are and you do what you can to help. You love them. You just don't, you know, judge them. Like when I see people who may have a mental illness or a substance abuse problem. It's a problem in their brain, you know. If they're mentally ill, so that's really not them. You go deeper and they have a spirit and so you just love them. You don't judge them. They have an illness. If I'm speaking to somebody who has pancreatic cancer, I don't judge them. No more should I judge someone who has a mental illness which has to do with their brain or substance abuse? I don't have a judgment. The only thing I care about is, if somebody's already, I want to help, and I think a lot of people feel that way. That's why family problems have grown so large. I just don't. I don't think I judge.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, that's really what we all want is not to be judged and to be who we are, without judgment. I can say with full confidence, anyone who reads your book will never look at someone who is unhoused the same way. Again, you shine a light on the many reasons that people can find themselves in that situation from and you mentioned some but like fire, death, health crisis, job loss, the loss of eyesight, trauma, mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence, trauma, mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence and these are stories, not statistics, some of which you share beautifully in your story and I encourage everybody to read it because these are stories that are woven throughout your book.

Speaker 1:

I used to be, in one of my lives, a director of a battered woman's shelter, and the women and children who came in had nothing and they were not looking for handouts. They just needed a safe place to breathe, reset and move forward. And I also worked at a group home for boys who had been abused and when they age out of the system, that's it. You know, you're 18 and you're out a lot of times, and I did have one show up at my doorstep after he had aged out because he had no one. So you know, I just said come on, and he slept on my couch until we figured it out just said, come on.

Speaker 1:

And he slept on my couch until we figured it out. I mean, people honestly just find themselves in that situation and there's just nothing that you can do, and they're not looking for anything, you know, and they want to give back, they want to help and we're just offering them those that you know seeds of hope, I guess you could call them so that they can get planted somewhere and grow. So thank you for changing people's views. If they read your book, they will change their view on homelessness.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I believe they will, because it takes them from people who are chronically homeless in New York City to families and mothers with kids sleeping in their cars but working, and how lives can be changed with a little help you know of the guests that you have helped along these years, these 38 years but also volunteers, and volunteers are essential, of course, and it is you say the authentic interactions between guests and caring volunteers is the healing part of the recipe. I mean, that is the recipe. Everything is possible. Recipe Everything is possible. Every skill is used, from quilting to hair nails, helping guests get jobs, writing resumes. I mean, can you share about some of these ways that people can get involved, Because I think everybody has a skill that can be used.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's just as you say whatever talent you have, offer it. They may not have a program called, you know, a nail salon, but if you offer to do the nails of guests, that will make a big difference. Or photography, as so many families don't have a portrait of their family and so one volunteer took a portrait. So you know, whatever you know, whatever you feel you can do, you know to make a difference. Also, acts of kindness. I remember there was one woman at a shelter but she Chuck, was picking her up every morning because her car broke down. This volunteer, chuck, and she would come out at 5 o'clock in the morning and Chuck would be standing there waiting for her. And then he learned that this woman liked lattes. So this one morning he stood there with two cups in his hand, one for himself and the and the latte for Judy. Once you saw that if you said to Chuck, you're gonna make me cry. You know, and she did so, here was just a latte, but it moved her so much that somebody not only takes the time to be there at 5 o'clock in the morning but would offer her a latte. So there's so many small acts of kindness that can make a difference.

Speaker 2:

The man across the street in my neighborhood knew that I was away. There had been a bad snowstorm. So when I came back my driveway was completely shut, my walkway and my porch and I opened the door and a little note fell out and he said I hope I didn't mess anything up, but I knew you were away. So I shuffled your driveway and it was my neighbor across the street, chris, and I kept that note for a long time and I couldn't bear to throw it away because it just meant so much to me. It really did. I didn't know Chris that well, I mean, I really didn't know him but the fact that he would do that really touched me. You know, it's to the point where I couldn't throw the note away. So little things can make a profound difference, you know.

Speaker 1:

One of your volunteers, you know. The guest had asked to get some clothes. They needed some clothes and they were going to take— she just said, well, you can take me to Kohl's, and they took her to Macy's, you know. Oh yeah, that was the hope yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean— the hope to Macy's and know oh yeah, that was the hope. Yeah, yeah, the hope to Macy's and got her 10 new outfits.

Speaker 1:

No, it's those simple things that just. It's so small, but it makes her feel important. It makes them feel seen, validated. You know, joe's story hit me. After surviving childhood abuse, he became a Family Promise volunteer and said that the pain that we receive is not a life sentence. It can become a calling. Then there's and I want to say his name, right, but Yusof the refugee from Uganda.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, yes, he was so touched by everybody serving him and smiling.

Speaker 1:

I'll tell you what. When the team of people from Family Promise served him food from his home country, it made me know that you know, they're not statistics, these are human beings. He was seen and loved for right where he was. That is just so beautiful. And then Sadie I guess too needed help. She was held hostage by an abusive Abusive, yeah, yeah and lost her housing because of what he did. You know nothing that she did. So what I loved was she found agency with you, she said.

Speaker 1:

Rather than talking about what was wrong, the people at Family Promise helped me create a plan for overcoming my circumstances. They never made me feel like my situation was too big for me to overcome. She said that she trusted the path that had helped thousands before her. I mean, karen, what you did has created a place where people walk through the doors to a new life. So how did you cultivate that kind of culture? Because it was so important and you touched on it a little bit, but it was important for you to have all faiths involved. Can you talk about the intentional choices that you made at the beginning?

Speaker 2:

The beginning I knew I wanted to focus on families and all religions to get involved and I wanted the program to be one of hospitality. In fact the first name was Interfaith Hospitality Network. We later changed our name because we had grown into so much more in other programs. But hospitality and forming with the hope that relationships would be formed, you know, really happened with volunteers coming back and helping families sign housing, even renting an apartment for a family you know that apartment that they owned for jobs. Some people employed guests in their companies. So it was just a culture of caring. But I can't take credit for that. I mean, I cared but I didn't plant the caring in the heart of our volunteers.

Speaker 2:

They're naturally caring and looking for a way to help have needs all over this country. You know, for every four units of federal housing, only one family actually receives it, even though they are eligible. That's due to the lack of funding. So you know there's a great, great crisis there and some of our volunteers have gotten involved in public policy advocacy, speaking to their legislators and doing things locally. Right now, at this time, I don't see big changes and I see changes in social programs, but not in a good way. So we're going to see more and more people who are experiencing homelessness and it's important to reach out, to call your local shelter, to visit with them, to see if you can volunteer, or your local soup kitchen, or just, you know, give a sandwich to a man who's lying on cardboard on the subway grate, like your son. Did you know? If your son can do that, we all can do it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you did share in your book that you wanted to understand homelessness and why it existed in the wealthiest country on earth like it does, and it is getting worse. I mean, after all these years of walking alongside individuals with family and maybe you already answered this, I'm not sure but I mean, have you discovered the answer? Why?

Speaker 2:

Because you need government to create partnerships with the nonprofit sector. Nonprofits are doing a lot. The more nonprofits are being created all the time, but they alone cannot meet the need. You need policies like to give people food stamps and we have some benefits or healthcare, but people who are poor don't have these supports and all it takes is a loss of a job, your hours cut at work or a divorce or an illness and you become homeless and there's not the safety net.

Speaker 2:

If you're going to see big changes the government has to provide a safety net. It's beyond nonprofits to handle that and I don't know, maybe that will happen. I'm afraid it's going to be so bad. We're going to see so many people experiencing homelessness on the streets. Maybe something good that will come from all these cuts is they see more people in need and maybe maybe something will change. But I don't know. I think I'm being very naive and wishful thinking about that. I think I'm being very naive and exercising, uh, wishful thinking well, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1:

but the facts in your book really speak loud. One in 30 children experience homelessness every year. Yes, exactly 1.2 million students in pre-K through 12th grade were recorded as homeless in just the 21-22 school year. Most renting families now spend over half their income on housing. I mean you can't survive on that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the issue is not homelessness. That's just a symptom. The real issue is poverty and people can't live on what they earn. Or the people that can't work for some reason can't live on the benefits that are offered.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean you do mention how we need people to work in nursing homes, but yet they don't aren't paid enough. And how we need people at fast food, but you know they aren't paid enough. The poverty line in 2023 for a family of four was just $30,000. Right, and one in four eligible households actually receive federal housing assistance. Simply because the funding isn't there.

Speaker 2:

I mean, that's what can you do about it? One of the things we can do about it is fully fund the housing programs, federal housing assistance, rather than just one in four. Make it four out of four.

Speaker 1:

And so many are uninsured.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

So there's a quote from Mother Teresa in your book that I absolutely love. Teresa in your book that I absolutely love, she said I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. And as soon as I read that, I just said out loud amen. And yet here we are in the richest country in the world, like we just said, still grappling with the heartbreaking of living. You know, if we truly want to build a more equitable and inclusive America where opportunity isn't limited by a zip code or a circumstance, you know it needs a huge systemic change.

Speaker 2:

The federal minimum wage right now is $7.25 per hour and that hasn't been changed since 2009. The states can have their own minimum wage and in New Jersey I think it's $15 an hour and there's a campaign to increase that to $18 an hour.

Speaker 1:

So all those things?

Speaker 2:

can help.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, it's such a deep problem, I mean, that would only be a surface. You're no longer the CEO there.

Speaker 2:

No, I retired.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, who is the CEO now?

Speaker 2:

Cheryl Shook, and she's just doing an amazing job. After I retired, klaas Ehlers, who I worked with for 20 years, became the CEO and then he left and so we hired Cheryl Shuck. She's just amazing. She ran our Grand Rapids affiliate and she created many units of affordable housing and other innovative programs. So she's just the right person and has done wonderful things to add prevention, intervention, sheltering, transitional housing to what they do to help families achieve sustainable independence. So, yeah, I retired.

Speaker 1:

How many states does Family Promise have? How many? We're in 44 states 44. Wow, you're in my state. You, in the back of your book, have all your affiliates listed. You have ways that people can get involved in Call People, which I think is wonderful. I have to say that the ending of your book I never saw coming. I'm so sorry that after you retired that you ended up having an accident, so I just wanted to see how you were doing.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I'm doing much better now, but I am In 2019, February 12th, I was sitting by the pool of. I had a small condo in Miami Beach. I was sitting by the pool and I was about to have a cryotherapy appointment. Do you know what that is? I do, yeah. So I had done that about 30 times. I have some water. I'd done that about 30 times, so I went to a place where I would meet the attendant and they said that she had only been there four weeks, but she was thoroughly trained and I knew the trainer and I had a lot of respect for her.

Speaker 2:

So I thought well, you know that's all right, but unfortunately, when I got in there, she made the temperature so, so, so cold that I kept saying I don't remember this, but I'm cold, I'm cold. And I fell out, um, like a popsicle, and hit my head because she opened the door but she stood behind the door so she couldn't help me out. When I hit my head, um, I didn't have any feeling from that neck down. I didn't have any feeling from that neck down and I called my two sons and they came down immediately. Then I had surgery to back my neck.

Speaker 2:

I have a spinal cord injury, that is not got complete injuries and incomplete injury, which is a good thing to have because it means your spinal cord is not severed, it's just bruised. So I made a lot of progress. I can now walk with a specialized walker and the help of my PT people. I go into New York on Thursdays and I walk with something called WanderCraft and I walk with something called WanderCraft. I have like a robot thing that's attached to me and the robot and I walk and you know, I just I can lift my legs and the robot helps too, and so that's interesting and it's just I'm trying everything.

Speaker 2:

I have something called the Local Mat at Kessler Institute where I go for therapy and I'm in a harness but I'm walking on a treadmill. So even right now, as I'm talking to you, I'm moving my legs. I made a lot of progress there and I'm an artist and unfortunately my right arm and hand have very little movement. I really can't use my right hand, but I can use my left hand. So I have a gadget where I can put the paintbrush in this gadget and I can paint, not like I painted before, but I always painted Well, if you can see the pictures behind me.

Speaker 1:

You did those.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I did those. Yeah, Wow, the big one I did during my son's nap time. They were two and four, but I was a fairly good painter. But now I'm able to paint with my left hand with this gadget and the paintbrush, and it's a little more impressionistic than I've done before, just because I don't have the control of my hand, but I love doing it, you know, and I found out that I could do it. So I do that when I can, but I'm busy. I have quite a few speaking engagements, either on podcasts or at churches or synagogues or nonprofits, so I enjoy that. So I feel like I'm extending the message. My goal is to inspire people to want to make a difference in the lives of others people to want to make a difference in the lives of others. So I did Family Promise and that's beautiful and that's well on its way to even becoming bigger and even better, and then the book is going very well and people are reading it, and then my speaking engagements were hopefully, I inspire people to make a difference.

Speaker 1:

Well, you inspired me. I want to end with this quote from your book Meant for More Following your Heart and Finding your Purpose. The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. Pablo Picasso and your book. That is your book. That's your purpose, that's your mission. You live that quote. Where can people get a hold of Family Promise or how can they volunteer?

Speaker 2:

How can they get your book? They can go on the Family Promise website, familypromiseorg, or they can get my book at Barnes, Noble, Amazon or bookshopcom and also karenolsonauthorcom, and I'll hold up my book.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there it is. It's a book with a message and a movement and healing throughout the entire thing, with dignity and humanity and you know, a purpose of putting people on the pages so people can read it and learn a lot more about what truly homelessness is. So it is just so touching. Thank you so much for writing it and for everything that you're doing, what you've done, and I just want to say to our listeners thank you so much for listening today and, as usual, there is purpose in the pain and there is hope in the journey and we will see you next time.

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